Friday, February 27, 2009
it's either this:
j is being sent to Cabo San Lucas for work (oh, woe to him... my poor husband... being sent to paradise..) and he can take me with him. however, if i go with him, it means that we cannot get the puppy we've been considering. this isn't that puppy, but it's super close.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
I decided since my original Oscar night plans fell through, it doesn't mean the glamour has to be missed (was going to attend glamorous party in fantastic blue retro inspired dress, but j and I are having a rough weekend. and he's leaving for KC first thing in the a.m.). So because of this, I chose to bake and stay home and record my thoughts via text (to various friends, but notably, our blogger friends -- Poor, Pat. It must be annoying for someone who doesn't watch many movies but has much to say about people's outfits to randomly text you.) and Twitter, where I laughed out loud at our friend Andy.
I didn't watch any of the red carpet stuff until we got home. I turned in at 8 p.m. Now, I love me some Oscar fashions. Mostly, I am jealous. Mostly, I envy their perfect size 2 figures.
However. That said, I also think that if I had their budgets and figures, I could do better.
I figured, no sense letting this great outfit go to waste. So I'm dressed up, old Hollywood style. It seems only right.
My initial thoughts on fashion:
Someone has stolen the sleeves off of Kate Winslett and Marissa Tomei's dresses.
Daniel Craig has to stand 10 feet away from Carrie.. I mean SJP in order to give enough room to her dress.
Jessica Biel, fire your stylist.
Amy Adams - love that necklace.
Anne Hathaway. Meh. Looks like Xanadu - the ballet.
The girl from Mamma Mia looks awesome.
The girl from High School Musical looks like someone went a little crazy with the bows.
Tilda Swinton is really beautiful. Last year, she scared me a little.
Angelina Jolie could probably wear a bag and look awesome.
Mickey Rourke scares me this year.
The girl from Slumdog Millionaire looks gorgeous.
Reese also looks like her dress changed its mind. It was going to have wide straps. And then, no. Narrow straps.
Other Oscar moments:
I was so hoping for song and dance with Hugh Jackman. He didn't disappoint.
FTW: did SJP actually introduce Matthew Broderick to an interviewer? Say what?
I forgot Roy Scheider died.
And I also forgot about Richard Widmark.
And the girl from Gone With the Wind.
And Cid Charese!
I was wondering what happened to the Heath picture, and then I figured they must have done something last year, because he died in January 2008.
"Wow. Slumdog Millionaire won again."
And granted, they're not over yet. But I'm going to guess that Slumdog wins best picture, and go to bed. I am hoping that Kate Winslett wins. Because she's awesome.
Let me know if I was wrong about Slumdog. I'm heading to bed.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
This morning, on my way to work, about 13 seconds after I thought, “Man, what a great day I’m having. I’m so lucky to have such a good life,” a rock was kicked up by the van in front of me and hit my windshield, causing a pretty big ding in the glass. (Yes, I’m a dork for having my own little hallelujah sessions and I can’t even get too mad about the van because it was a Red Cross van delivering blood so how evil would I be for being angry at it, right?)
Then, I got to my office, went to turn on my light… and not only blew out the light bulb and kicked off the battery backup on my computer, but I blew a fuse.
I should not be allowed anywhere near small children today.
(Dudes, just to be clear, this doesn’t even come close to qualifying as a bad day. I just thought it was funny that the two events happened within 30 minutes of each other. And it’s made me be a little more cautious today. But I forgot to mention that when I went to find a replacement light bulb in the office storage closet, I instead found a box of chocolates that looked as thought it had been there since Valentine’s Day… 2005. But it still had a few pieces left, so score!)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
he told me i was the best wife ever. i think, however, if he had other wives, i probably wouldn't retain that title. and we probably wouldn't be married.
as for dinner? such a great time. as always. i love SRG and KAT oodles, mostly because they are fun and don't pick on me for wearing renaissance outfits and singing to twos of people. oh wait. they *do* pick on me for that. but i love them anyway. silly bitches.
current itunes song: "all my friends" LCD Soundsystem featuring Franz Ferdinand
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I'm really sorry I fell on you today when attempting to walk down the stairs.
In my defense, you should be smaller, then you'd be easier to haul around.
WTF? Why must you always let me down? Do I not provide you with the finest in fashionable footwear? Do I not limit the amount of times I wear high heels out of respect for your feelings?
And this is how you repay me?
Not cool, feet.
I don't know where you've gone to, but I wish you'd come back.
I'm lost without you.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Sunday, February 08, 2009
What's that, you ask? You want me to elaborate on pimping out rabbits?
You asked for it.
J and I stopped by to visit my parents, like we try to do every weekend. Only this time, on our way out to the little barn in back, dad asked us to "breed the bunnies."
me: "Wait, what?"
dad: "You were a 4H-er."
I was. But for the record, my trophies were in Wood Working and Flower Arranging.
Ergo, comedy ensues.
We figured really, how hard can it be? Put the male bunny into the female bunny's hutch, and let them have at it. We figured that can't be hard. So we take the black (male) bunny, and put it into the hutch of the white with black female lop bunny. My goal here was to try and get a black lop bunny out of the deal. I realize there's a science here, but, I was kind of more relying on the fact that there are only two colors at work here, and one black bunny plus one black and white bunny equals at least one black bunny.
J holds up on the hutch as I grab the black bunny and put him into the hutch of the shy black and white bunny. I felt badly. I mean. I should have at least given her some flowers? Maybe turn on some music? Within 10 seconds, the black bunny was. Um. "Finished."
"Do you think they want to cuddle?" J asked.
The black bunny stomped his haunches. I scolded him. "That is *not* how you win her love and affection."
All in all, the first one went off without a hitch. I wasn't sure, however, if I should have put a curtain up so the other female couldn't see what was going on.
As it turns out, I probably should have.
Next we tried to mate the male grey bunny with the other lop - a pretty white with brown and grey spots. Let me just stipulate that my father swears that the lops were both female.
So imagine my surprise when I put the grey male in and the lop mounts him immediately. He didn't so much as put up a fight! We were floored. Not as floored, however, as when the male then mounted the female's head.
"They're doing it wrong!"
"What do we do?"
"Get him! I feel like I'm watching Oz!"
We let them go. um. after each other a few more times. And then the two of them laid down in the corner.
"OH MY GOD! They're cuddling!"
"He's NOT GAY! He's sensitive."
Finally, without a small degree of scurrying, I managed to grab the grey one and put him back in his hutch.
And then we had to explain this to my parents. Which, honestly, can be a little awkward. Go ahead. I dare you. Try to explain the concept of the male mounting the female's head to your mother.
"I know what it's called when *humans* do it... but..."
All in all, I'm not sure I'm cut out to run a bunny brothel. I think maybe next time, I'll leave it to the experts.
Friday, February 06, 2009
I'd like to point out that hindsight is 20/20, and had I actually been able to have an out of body experience in my past dating life, it would have been a little easier on me because I could have given myself tips. Or I never would have dated anyone, and would be alone living with several rabbits (because I'm not much of a cat person) and maybe would have learned to knit.
So, here are my tips based on real life events that I've dealt with at some point in my dating history for evaluating just how into you he really is. If at all. In my estimation. Which could be way off. And in fact, probably is.
1) You meet him for a blind/internet/random date. Thankfully, I've met most of my ex boyfriends in person and didn't really deal with the uncomfortable blind datey-ness. But I dealt with it enough to know that if he is avoiding eye contact, checking out the waitress or any other female in the room and constantly looking at his phone, he's probably not into you.
2) You have a date. He calls with a lame excuse and asks to cancel. And doesn't call back. Probably not into you.
3) He is a famous movie star who starred as Mr. Darcy in the BBC verion of Pride and Prejudice. You are a schoolmarmish yet attractive bookworm from Connecticut who's idea of a good time is playing Boggle in a coffee shop or scrabble over a bottle of wine. He's probably not into you.
4) You have a total connection. You like him. He likes you. You're certain of it. You click. You have a great makeout session. He calls you one month later to tell you sorry. He's been busy with work. Chances are? He's not into you. Maybe you are not the fantastic makeout queen you think you are. But then you make out with someone else, and realize, no. You are. He's just not that into you.
5) You throw up on him. He asks you to marry him. Ding Ding! He *is* into you.
Really, what it comes down to is that there is no accounting for chemistry. I cannot explain it, having dated a swath of either side of the dating spectrum.
It's not about looks (although, it's oddly true that only one of my past love interests has had perfect vision -- I seem to dig guys with four eyes), or height, or intelligence -- although I have my preferences. There's just something that clicks with a person -- even with friends.
Some people you like, some people you don't. And if you try (AHEM, my dearest friend whom I affectionally call 'pea') to understand why, you'll drive yourself crazy.
I say this, of course, immediately after having 231 conversations with various friends about all of these situations. Except maybe number 3. I realize that if Colin Firth ever met me, he'd totally fall in love with me. I've already warned J that he'd better stop discussing our marital issues with random waitresses.
And really. Knowing that he's just not into me? Just not enough.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Instead, I give you:
Dear Mother Nature,
Seriously? What? Have you had a really bad period for the past 3 months and we all should suffer? How else can you explain the Minnesota weather in Connecticut? I understand that it's winter and I live in New England. But cool it with the commuting-time piss poor weather. I drive a Volkswagen, Mom. I don't have the fortitude to crush large snow banks in it.
Dear Manufacturers of my awesome rubber boots,
You, sirs and madams, deserve heaps of praise. I can't believe that I can wear rubber boots with cute little cherries on them in New York and no one points and laughs. It's awesome. You're awesome. You and your pretty patterned boots are all super.
Granted, when I was on the Metro North train from Darien to GCT, I was getting some funny looks from the super trendy girl in the 4 inch stiletto boots. And I was alarmed that she may have snapped my picture to show up on Don't Spotting and therefore stalked that site everyday for fear of public derision. But no. As it turns out, my boots *were* super-cute and totally appropriate for the weather.
Hugs and kisses,
It was awesome to hang with you guys on Friday night. I laughed so hard, as I always do when I'm with you -- it was truly good times. And do you like how I pretended I couldn't possibly eat that entire chocolate chip cookie sandwich and then wolfed the entire thing down? Yeah. That was convincing. I thought so too.
You are super fantastic friends and I'm so glad I share a blog with you. I'm glad for other things too -- like how we can go outlet mall shopping together, or go to the casino together and play penny slots while the boys play poker... like maybe next Sunday? What are your thoughts?