Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dad, when I wrote "sex," it was code for "praying"

My dad called last night and said, "Tell the Pretend Husband I made some great soup from the turkey carcass he gave me."

I said, "Wait. Did you just call him the Pretend Husband? Do you read my blog?"

Dad said, "Yes, I read it all the time."

And then I died. The End.

Holy cow, my dad reads this blog?!? Even this post? And this? Oh no! Not this one, I hope! (I'm kind of hoping my dad doesn't know about clicking on links!)

Somehow, despite my begging my family and friends to read our blog, and pretty much plugging it every chance I get (I sent out an email telling people I was engaged, but linked to the blog if they wanted to read the whole story), I kind of figured no one had taken me up on the offer. Then, slowly, I have started getting comments that freak me out at first (how does my friend from college/neighbor/aunt know about that?!?) until they explain they have been reading but not commenting (you sneaky buggers, you!)

But my dad?!? I had no idea! I asked him, "Do you, um, feel like you know more about me than you ever wanted to know?" and he said, "Yes, and about [Kat's lil sis] too." (Ha, ha, Kat's lil sis! Now do you regret writing about your cervix?)

So, knowing that my dad reads this blog, I will now be writing about nothing but my church attendance, volunteering at soup kitchens, saving kittens from fires and that time I meant to wear black slacks, but got all the way to work before discovering-- ha ha!-- that I had put on my navy blue ones.

OK, I'm kidding. I will get over this shortly and be back to my usual raucous self. And really, SJ should be the one who is embarrassed. At least I never discussed nipples with my mother-in-law!


Dr Zibbs said...

Just don't tell him we had sex on the roof.

I mean read that book together.

Nanc Twop said...

I suppose now isn't the time to tell you that I'm actually your Great Aunt Mamie? (You know, the one that wears the out-dated hats and too much perfume?)

But no worries; I don't actually -read- your blog, I just print out the pages and use my extra hat pins to put them up on the notice board at church.

Tell your dad 'hi' - loved the soup!'


SouthernBelle said...

Ahahahhaa, this is why I guest-post stuff over at other people's blogs!!!

TishTash said...

Yep, SouthernBelle gets her dirty on anywhere but home. Like with chicks who avail of bar bathrooms, if you know what I mean. (Kidding, Belle.)

Perhaps comments should be kept rated-PG, too, huh?

KAT's little sis said...

Um, I guess I should have told you he reads your blog....but I thought you knew. I've known for a while but didn't think it was a big deal. Oops.

sj said...

um, as we know, my mom also reads the blog. and comments.

so yeah. you get no sympathy from me :P

and for the record, we didn't discuss *my* nipples. technically, we discussed hers.

and she brought it up.

Sam_I_am said...

haha, it must suck when the lurker is your parent. omg, I hope my mom doesn't read mine. I also loved the stories from my pre-blog time.

in time out said...

okay...i am on board. love this post...goes along with telling the home teacher to twist his wifes nipples and she would go into labor. Yes, I did, and yes, I posted about it. hugs.