Saturday, June 09, 2012

Oh Lord, when did my son turn two?!?

FunnyKid isn't actually two yet, but he sure is acting like it these days. A few examples:

- Everything is dramatic. Everything includes the need for tears and yelling and struggling against me if it's not done exactly as he wants it (which changes daily, of course). These traumatic events include having his diaper changed (thank goodness we only have to do that six times a day!), being asked to get dressed and-- although I have no idea why-- having his hands washed.

-Diapers are now a curiosity. As in, FunnyKid likes to check out what's in them and-- to put this delicately-- doesn't always leave things inside. There was an incident a week ago in which the Pretend Husband thought FunnyKid's crib was covered in blood... until FunnyKid pointed at the mess and proclaimed, "yuck!" You can guess the rest.

-Diapers also serve as practice sessions for FunnyKid's Houdini act. The other day, I heard splashing in our bay window. Thinking the kiddo was pouring the water from his sippy cup into the window where he had climbed up, I turned around... just in time to watch him finish peeing on the window and start dancing in the puddle to make it splash. I couldn't even find his diaper at first. He had shed it in the kitchen before getting up on stage for his performance.

-Nothing gets said once around here. A typical diaper change includes me saying, "FunnyKid, let's change your diaper. Come here, bud. Kiddo, time to change your diaper. Are you listening to Mommy? Let's go. Diaper change." Then I chase him through the house, bodily bring him to where his new diaper is and try to hold him down while completing the challenge. I often break a sweat before it's over. Then, just a few hours later, we get to do the whole thing again.

Oh, and today we hung out with a couple of three-year-olds. Where I learned this crazy behavior that is testing me and sometimes pushing me to my limits is not going to end anytime soon. I'm scared.