Sunday, November 28, 2010

How long do I have to do this before I'm no longer a rookie?

In the three months FunnyKid has been with us, I've had my share of days when I have rocked this mothering gig. Conversely, I've had those days where things... didn't go quite so well. The Pretend Husband and I refer to "rookie mistakes" whenever we mess up with FunnyKid when we should have known better. Examples include me getting pooped on after ignoring the warning signs and the time I went outside with FunnyKid in my arms to go for a walk with SJ without bringing the car seat the kiddo needed to be in.

Luckily, the PH makes enough rookie mistakes that I feel like we're pretty even and I'm not the most terrible parent in the world. The other night, I had given him two diapers to take up to the kiddo's room-- one for that night and the other for the morning. After the PH had changed FunnyKid's diaper, played with him for a bit and dressed him in a sleepsack, he gave him to me for a feeding.

A few minutes later, I noticed two diapers on the changing table and asked the PH, "Did you put a diaper on FunnyKid?" The PH's eyes grew wide as he said he didn't think so. Turns out FunnyKid was going commando in his sleepsack. Which would have been disastrous in ways I don't need to describe if it had gone unnoticed. And would not have been discovered if I hadn't happened to give the PH only two diapers and then notice those same two. Disaster averted (and a little satisfaction for Mama that she wasn't the one who made the mistake... this time)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

We rocked that baby sign language class

FunnyKid and I attended a baby sign language class at our local library yesterday. And while it appeared to be a drop-in-anytime type of class, it was actually in the fifth of six weeks. They felt bad for me and figured I'd have a lot of catching up to do.

Uh, no. Actually, I took a couple of sign language classes in college and even considered continuing my education to become an interpreter. I wanted to go to the class at the library to see what signs people teach their kids and to socialize with the other moms and kids. Plus, I didn't think I would remember as much as I did.

So I became a complete brown noser. When members of the class couldn't get the (Deaf) instructor to understand what they were saying (she read lips), I fingerspelled for her a few times. Then came the moment that I'm sure made the other moms hate me (I hate myself a little for being such a kiss-ass without even meaning to be!)

The instructor wrote on the board that we should each sign a sentence and pointed at me to go first. Since we had just learned a bunch of Thanksgiving signs, I figured we were supposed to incorporate those, so I signed, "My family is going to eat turkey during Thanksgiving dinner at my dad's house." Then the next mom went and she signed, "I cook turkey." The next signed, "This is my son." Oh. Oops.

I think we all know who will be getting the "A" in sign language class!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Yes, it was the longest delivery ever. I'm talking two years long...

The good news is that kat's lil sis and the cutest nephews in the world recently moved within driving distance. We decided to celebrate that by showing up on their first weekend in their new house (you can thank me later, lil sis, for the motivation to get unpacked and have the guest room set up within days of the movers dropping everything off).

While the Pretend Husband and kat's lil bro-in-law made themselves scarce with a guys' weekend away, lil sis and I wrangled her two boys and my one. One of our excursions was out to a mall, which was a bad idea for a lot of reasons. The mall was huge and crowded and no one seemed to care that I was pushing a stroller and lil sis had a humongous double stroller. We didn't so much walk through the mall as dodge our way through it.

At one point, I left my stroller parked behind lil sis' and ran to check on something in the kids' department. As lil sis stood there, a woman eyed the strollers and asked, "Triplets?" Aside from the fact that our kids don't look alike in the least, there's the small problem that one of them is two months old, one is nine months old and the third is two years old. But when you're trying to avoid getting trampled while keeping a two-year-old occupied and out of trouble, you'll agree to anything. "Triplets? Yes. Let's go with that."

Monday, November 01, 2010

Nope, no baby. I'm just crazy.

As FunnyKid's mom, one of my main jobs is to talk and sing to him a lot to help him develop his language skills (I will be the one with the kindergartner using words like "extracurricular" and "synonymous"-- but since SJ is as much of a word nerd as I am, her kiddo will probably be conversing right along with FunnyKid!) So I spend most of my day chatting with the little one-- describing what we're passing in the car, telling him how autumn works and discussing what's on the agenda for the day.

The other day, we were at the grocery store and I wheeled FunnyKid's stoller up to the deli counter to order some meats and cheeses. "We are getting some turkey," I said to FunnyKid after I had ordered. "Daddy likes turkey on his sandwiches, so we're buying him some turkey and I'll make him sandwiches to take to work."

The worker behind the counter finally looked at me and said, "Do you have a baby with you?"

I quickly replied, "Yes. Yes, I do. (moving him away so she could see him from behind the high counter) Otherwise, you must have thought I'm just crazy, talking to myself like that..."

She didn't answer.