My overdue recap of quotes after hanging out with KAT last weekend

So last weekend we got together for some awesomely not really planned until the last minute fun.

Which is always a good time.

And all we have for you, really, is this list of quotes. We think it defines what it's like to hang out with KAT, me, the PH and J just perfectly.

"Dude, your ten year old self would kick your own ass right now." -- J to the PH after the PH demanded KAT use the firepit to light off fireworks. (Note: Said fireworks pictured below.)

"You had to come down here and save me?" -- KAT.
"I'm coming down here to save the neighborhood." -- the PH to KAT, while standing immediately next to her with a hose in case that Roman Candle set the entire water-soaked lawn on fire.

"Stop pointing fireworks at my lawn and at the pine trees." -- PH to KAT (see above.)

"Are you offended I don't want to continue talking about your penis?" -- SJ to the PH.
"Whatever, just play." -- The PH responded sullenly. Note: To clarify, we were playing setback. Of course. Lots and lots of setback.

"Give the girl 3 martinis and she's 13." -- PH to KAT. which resulted in an:
"uhhhhhh...." from the rest of us and also for KAT to tell me:
"SJ, transcribe this entire conversation."

"That's fine. I'll take the PH home." J to me and KAT - I don't remember what prompted this, but I'm pretty sure it implied a romantic relationship between our spouses.

"When my wife doesn't work, she's going in the garbage." -- J (That's right, ladies. He's mine! Back off!)

"This is probably going on the blog." -- the PH

"If that's where I have to go to find love and support and people that don't pee on themselves..." -- KAT.

I had nothing recorded after that, as I had fallen into fits of laughter too hard to hold the pen.

Good news though. We're getting together again tomorrow night. Let the shenanigans rule!

If you're still sad about any of the celebrities that died last week, you should probably skip this post

I've gone back and forth on whether to write about this topic because of the whole don't-speak-ill-of-the-dead thing and all. But it keeps rewriting itself in my head and I figured the only way to get it to stop is to actually put it down. And I'm curious to hear if people agree, disagree, could care less, think I'm a terrible person, didn't hear this news until just this second, etc.

So, a bunch of celebrities passed away in the past week. It's too bad and it's always sad when someone loses their life. But, honestly? I don't really care. They weren't my friends, I'm in no way related to them and I'm about as far from the person who gives up their day to stand outside Michael Jackson's house and cry while laying flowers at the gate as you can get.

I'm absolutely fascinated by the MJ story in terms of how the media has covered it. I couldn't believe how many people said, "We will all always remember where we were when we heard Michael Jackson died." Really?!? That's how much he means to you? His death is a life-changing event for you? Because it's not for me. I will remember where I was on September 11, I still have a clear memory of watching the Challenger explode and I can recall even the most minute detail from my mom's last day alive. But a washed-up pop icon with a questionable criminal history? Eh.

One article I read last week was titled, "For Generation X, A Really Bad Day." And it quoted a 38-year-old man talking about how MJ's death is a defining moment for Generation X and the moment that finally turned that generation into adults. Really?!? He's 38 years old and just getting around to becoming an adult? His wife must be so proud.

Was Michael Jackson a star? Yup. He did a lot for the music industry in his day and he was a heck of an entertainer. Was he also just a person with a whole lot of issues? Yes he was, and that's the part that seems to be getting lost in the shuffle. His death is sad, yes, and particularly terrible for its effect on his children (although I also question the effect his apparently daily drug use had on them...) but it's not the end of the world, the worst thing that's ever happened to me or a reason for the media to hype it into more than what it is. Let's all keep it in perspective, shall we?

You'll know me by the drink in my hand...

I've mentioned my friend, Mrs. Cheech, before. She was in my wedding party and is my oldest friend. After I graduated from college and returned to my home state, I not only kept up my friendship with Mrs. Cheech, but became friends with her two older brothers.

One of Mrs. Cheech's older brothers used to tease me by introducing me to people as, "This is my sister's friend, KAT" even though he and I were friends in our own right. I saw him as a party this weekend and he said the same thing, just to bust my chops. So I feigned annoyance, then explained to the Pretend Husband how the older bro used to do that to me all.the.time.

Then the older bro said, "Yeah, the other thing we used to say was, 'Oh, KAT's coming to the party? Better get some more alcohol!'"

And if that wasn't bad enough, another friend told the story about how, shortly after a group of us went out for drinks and dinner about 10 years ago, he ran into my dad and said, "Hi, KAT's dad. I just saw KAT the other night." My dad's response: "Was it in a bar?"

Apparently, I had quite the reputation in my younger days (and didn't even know it!)

SJ's Letters to the Masses version 3.1: The Ren Faire Letters

Dear Man who attends Renaissance Faires to grope the actors,

You're icky, sir. And I realize that I may be dressed somewhat funny, and I realize that you find my outfit very pleasing to the eye, but come now. Would you want random men groping your sister?

Do I invite your groping? No, sir. I do, in fact, not.

Please back away.

Sincerely,
sj

*****
Dear Freecreditreport.com,

On behalf of all singers and musicians that perform at festivals while dressed in costume: Thanks. Thanks a whole freaking lot. My credit is just *fine* thank you.

I bite my thumb at you, sirs.

Unapologetically,
sj

*****
Dear People who laugh at me for dressing up like Heidi and singing at such festivals,

I get paid. And I look *fabulous.*

And little girls wish to be me. (It's cool though, parents. I totally warn them away from a life of singing sea shanties while wearing a corset.)

Yours in song,
SJ

******
Dear 22-year-old SCA enactor,

I'm sorry, but we are not "fated to be together" in this lifetime, or the next. My husband is both a history nerd *and* a hottie.

Not, in fact, yours,
SJ

When technology intrudes...

The Pretend Husband and I needed new phones right around the time the iPhone dropped to $100 (still more than I've ever paid for a phone...) He got one because he needs it for work and I got one because... I'm awesome, I guess. I think there was some sort of reasoning that I could use it to help the PH with his work, but I ignored that crazy talk because I was too busy picking out which apps to put on the phone.

I love it. I get email on it. I have a variety of games. My calendar and address book are stored on it. I will probably never have "just a phone" again. And I guess I talk about my love for the iPhone a lot because a friend said to me, "I've never seen you this excited about technology."

But I worry. Just a bit. I worry that it may be detrimental to my marriage. Especially when, instead of talking to one another, the PH and I lay in bed each playing a game or fiddling with our phones. Or, like last night, when the PH sent me an email from his phone in the dining room to my phone in our bedroom to tell me he would be coming to bed soon. Then, when I didn't respond immediately, he yelled up the stairs for me to check my email. Which means he could have just yelled up that he would be coming to bed in a minute. But that didn't stop me from sending an email to say I'd be waiting.