Monday, February 24, 2014

My kid rocks at puking

Let's label this as yet another thing I never thought I would be talking about-- let alone bragging about-- before I had kids. But I am so proud of FunnyKid and his new puking skills that I had to share (it's the little things in life, you know?)

Up until this past weekend, FunnyKid had thrown up on two separate occasions. Both times, he was asleep in his bed when he threw up pretty much all over his face and hair, woke up crying and had to be stripped and rushed into the shower, where one parent got him clean while the other one stripped and remade the bed.

I felt awful for FunnyKid when this happened because the only thing worse than being sick is being pulled out of your bed, stripped of your clothes and being thrown into a shower when you were blissfully asleep just moments before. The poor kid would huddle under the water crying and begging to go back to bed while we explained why he was showering (multiple times in one night) and rushed to get him clean.

But that changed this weekend. We were staying at my dad's house for one night (the one fateful night). FunnyKid, who had exhibited no symptoms of not feeling well and had been running around just minutes before, was brushing his teeth when he suddenly started crying, asked for water and then began vomiting in the hallway outside the bathroom.

When he was done, he calmly asked to take a shower (he didn't need one as he had neatly avoided getting anything on himself, but I suspect he now associates puking with a shower afterward). After a nice, hot shower, we got FunnyKid into bed and prayed he wouldn't throw up all over a bed that doesn't belong to us, a rug that isn't ours and some various antiques and other nice stuff in the room he was staying in.

About half an hour later, FunnyKid called me upstairs and in a fairly calm manner told me he had to throw up again. I rushed him into the bathroom and held him while he threw up into the toilet like a seasoned pro. I denied him a shower after that round and he went back to bed and fell asleep.

Around 11:30, as the Pretend Husband and I were falling asleep, we heard FunnyKid call for us again. I met him in the hallway and again swooped him into the bathroom as he told me he had to throw up again. Another round of puking in the toilet and this time he got the shower he requested because if that's all your poor, sick kid wants, that's what he gets.

I feel like FunnyKid is growing and maturing in so many ways, and waking up to puke is one of them. Not the biggest deal, of course, but it makes for a happy mama who doesn't have to remake a bed for the fourth time and explain to a kid why he's showering at midnight.

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Where does he get this stuff?

One of the side effects of having FunnyKid in preschool is him hearing and seeing things that I don't know about. At least, that's where I'm assuming he's gotten some of his expressions lately.

Today, he was holding FunnyBoy back from climbing up into our bay window and when I told FunnyKid to let go of his brother, he said, "there's broken glass up there!" There is obviously no broken glass laying around in my house, and I still haven't figured out where he heard it.

One of my favorites-- and another one that came out of nowhere-- is FunnyKid saying, "Me got it" when we tell him to do something. He even once busted out with, "Me on it." And he has learned how to shorten his dad's lectures about why he needs to brush his teeth before bed with, "Me know, Daddy."

As with most kids his age (3), FunnyKid is constantly asking, "why?" I try to answer him the best I can, but it does get old when I have to begin explaining things down to their most basic levels. One of the best calls I ever made as a parent was to teach FunnyKid to only ask "why" three or four times. There is nothing more satisfying than the seemingly endless string of "why's" finally wrapping up with him saying, "That makes sense, Mom."

And finally, FunnyBoy (who is always with me so I really have no idea where he got it) started getting in our faces, opening his mouth wide and roaring like a lion today. It is ridiculously cute and he will sometimes do it on command. It seems someone is following in his brother's footsteps in always keeping me on my toes and thoroughly entertained.

Friday, October 11, 2013

I have seen way too many single digit AM hours this week

While I love that FunnyKid is in preschool, I don't love the cold he likely brought home from it. The sniffling and coughing is running rampant in our family-- and creating havoc during the night as various family members are woken by their own coughing or that of someone else.

We have had a few nights this week where the dogs are the only ones asleep at 2 a.m. It is no fun, especially for the adults who then spend the day dealing with cranky clients or cranky kids while running on not enough sleep and only the energy we get from mainlining cups of coffee.

The other night, the Pretend Husband and I did our best to get to bed early to try to make up for a lack of sleep the night before. We dozed off... only to be awoken an hour later by an angry FunnyBoy, who is not only under the weather, but also teething (and angry about the whole thing). I fed FunnyBoy and had to make a couple of attempts at putting him down in his crib before he settled down and fell asleep.

Back to bed for me... for another two hours before FunnyKid began coughing and woke himself up. FunnyKid was not a happy camper and not only refused medicine and water to try to alleviate the coughing, but also refused to get back into bed or do anything other than yell at me. When trying to calm him, I felt something on the back of his head and discovered a tick. Which is how the PH and I ended up wrestling FunnyKid while he yelled "I no like this game!" and FunnyBoy woke up in the next room and started doing some yelling himself.

We got the tick off of FunnyKid and tucked him back into bed. And then I went to feed FunnyBoy again while my hero, the PH, not only read "The Teapot Book" to FunnyKid, but actually SANG it at FunnyKid's request. I don't think I would have been so accommodating at 2:30 in the morning.

Finally tucking ourselves back into bed after getting both boys to sleep, the PH and I took turns praying no one would wake up before it was at least light outside. God was on our side and no one made a peep until after 7:30, which at least gave us more sleep than we had had the night before.

Luckily, things change quickly with kids and we seem to be at the end of the illlness. Our fingers are crossed that everyone continues to heal and we can all get some sleep tonight.

Thursday, October 03, 2013

The one where I start blogging again...

Oh hi, world.

Remember me? Probably not. But now that my daughter has gone off to college, I figured I'd regale you with years' old stories about her.

OK. Maybe not college.  But she is going to be 3 in three weeks, and I'm FREAKING THE HECK OUT.

I have no idea how that happened. But there are great things about being nearly 3.

1) Diapers and pull-ups are back ups. She's pretty fully potty trained now, so my days of back of the car diaper changes and those moments of sheer panic when I can't find the wipes are about over.
2) I can take her to the movies.
3) She talks. We have full on conversations. And they go something like this:

"Mommy, where are my glass slippers?"
I look around. There are sneakers, crocs, and glitter shoes.  I figured this was a gimme.
"Here you go," I said, handing her the glitter shoes.
"THOSE ARE NOT MY GLASS SLIPPERS, MOMMY!"
OK. So I try the crocs.
"Those are your glass slippers, Mommy-Cinderella. Put them on!"
I looked at the size 8 (toddler) stride rites. Probably not going to fit.
"I think these are too small."
Moment of reflection....
"They are too small mommy. You're the step sister."



Friday, September 27, 2013

This and that (Preschool Edition)

Having a 3 year old (FunnyKid) and a 9 month old (FunnyBoy) means naptime battles, less sleep than I ever thought I'd be able to survive on and some of the funniest moments. These boys make me laugh every day and while being a full-time parent is the hardest job I'll ever have, I'm so, so lucky to be able to do it.

FunnyKid goes to preschool now, is into playing any sport we buy equipment for and is talking like a champ. The other day, we were trying to find a set of blocks and had found all but one. "Oh, there it is," I said, as I spotted the last block under a dresser. FunnyKid replied, "You have good eyes, Mom." (I say that to him a lot and it was funny to learn that he picked up on one of my expressions. And then scary to think about just how much I need to watch what I say around him...)

While FunnyBoy has his moments of screaming displeasure (usually in the middle of the night), he is generally the happiest kid I've ever met. Strangers in stores comment all the time about his huge jack o'lantern smile (he has two teeth on the bottom and three on the top) and his bright blue eyes. A couple of people have dubbed him with the nickname "Blueberry Eyes" for how blue they are (FunnyKid can never remember the name and calls his brother "Strawberry Eyes.")

FunnyKid is mildly obsessed with ponytails. Before his last haircut, he sometimes asked me to make one on top of his head. When I have one in my hair, he will ask me to turn around so he can see my "poy-tail." Then he says, "I kiss it, Mom?" and gives my ponytail a smooch. Weird, but sweet.

FunnyKid is quite the backseat driver. I get all sorts of orders yelled at me, everything from "Green light, go!" (I've learned not to hit the gas when I hear that since it's not always accurate and never takes the fact that there's traffic in front of us into account) to "Slow down, Mom, that's my house." In fact, the kiddo has gotten kind of possessive lately. We recently got a new car that I drive and the Pretend Husband drives the vehicle I previously had. FunnyKid describes it as "Daddy drive my cah. You drive red cah."

While playing in the driveway a few weeks ago, we heard a tapping noise and discovered a woodpecker high up in a nearby tree. FunnyKid had noticed the noise so I was trying to explain to him what a woodpecker is and what it does. While searching the tree to try to spot what was making the noise, FunnyKid suddenly yelled, "that's a big pecker!" This is me praying he doesn't try to recount the story at school.