Thinking about moving? Don't do it! (A true life story from someone who did- and lived to tell the tale)

Ok, if you have to move because a job takes you elsewhere or your house burns down, then I guess you can go ahead and do it. But, if you have any choice in the matter, I am the living, breathing warning about how much it sucks and how it should be avoided if you can help it.

Can you guess what we did this summer? We did it. We moved. And, while we have owned our new house for three months now, our dining room and garage are still filled with boxes waiting to be unpacked and organized and, if I'm being honest with myself, will probably remained filled for a good, long time.

You see, moving is so much more than the day you actually transport your stuff from one place to another. It encompasses weeks and months of showings (I cleaned my house 25 times for 30 groups of people to come through- and I'm still unsure how I kept my kids and dogs from messing it up the moment I got it clean... I think I ran out the door with them and didn't return home until the showing was over).

Then there is the packing, the negotiations when you finally get an interested buyer, the fighting with the parent who sold you the house to finally get the last of their stuff out of your basement six years after you moved in (is that just me?), the moving day itself, the praying the deal doesn't fall through at the last minute, the negotiations on the house you're buying and the unpacking and organizing at the other end. I lived in a perpetual state of stress for more than seven months- realizing just how stressed out I was only after it was over and I could breathe- and sleep!- normally again.

And the funny (as in ironic, not ha ha) part is, the Pretend Husband and I are still not entirely clear WHY we moved. We gave various (truthful) answers to different people: "we need a layout that works better for us," "we ran out of projects at this house and are ready for something new" or "our lives weren't exciting enough before, so we thought we'd mix things up." It was a struggle because we didn't HAVE to move; we WANTED to. We had a perfectly good house that we had worked really hard to make our own. And it had plenty of room for us and our friends and family. But we both felt like it was time- and also had the thought that, if we didn't do it now, it would probably never happen once our boys were in school.

So, we did it. And now it's all over except the unpacking. And, while the PH and I tend to disagree (or at least debate) about EVERYTHING (paint colors, what to have for dinner, which house to buy, what gift to leave for the buyers, what show to watch together), we are in complete agreement about one important thing: we will not be moving again for a very, very long time.

"Obviously, these people do not watch HGTV."

I went to a home showing the other day. The house online had great promise - it was gorgeous on the outside, beautiful location, not far from rt. 8 and lovely inside shots. When we drove up to it, I thought, this is great.

And then I went in. Barely - because their two dogs were barking their little heads off at me. But I won, and made it into the great room - and by great, I mean, mediocre and stained with dog pee. This was my first thought: "______"

No, it wasn't a bad word. I don't think so. It's just that I couldn't hear myself think over the blaring country music they left on (maybe for the dogs?)

These things aside, I poked around the house, trying to determine if I could live there while avoiding things tumbling out of closets and cabinets. All the while fighting with two dogs who wanted to know why I was invading their turf.

What kind of bothers me the most is the thought that, you know what? Maybe I could live there. But I was so distracted by dogs/messiness/bad carpets/stinkiness that comes with having pets (I know all about it, but when showing your house?!) that I just wanted to get out.

Until I opened the walk- in closet and saw her collection of Michael Kors heels.

And then I seriously considered buying the house. But then I realized that she had them all in a pile ON THE FLOOR.

Now, I am a messy, messy girl. But even *I* keep my lovely shoes in their little shoe organizer in my rinky dink closet. So it made me wonder what else they had been ignoring in that otherwise gorgeous house. And how much it would cost to replace carpets and fix cabinets....

Until I saw the ridiculously huge radon system in the basement. The end.