Breaking up is hard to do (or: Let me go, AT&T, you're causing a scene...)

Forget the reputation used car salesmen have; it's the AT&T salesmen you have to look out for. The Pretend Husband and I bought iPhones in June and, while I LOVE my phone and all it's spectacular features (it delivers my email, keeps my calendar, has tons of games, strokes my hair at night when I'm having trouble sleeping...) the sole company that provides service for it sucks.

I'm at my wit's end after six months of fighting with this stupid company. The PH was on the phone with its customer service people for over an hour last night and very little has been accomplished. Basically, we were promised a bunch of discounts and special plans and a monthly charge that would have been only slightly higher than what we were paying for our still-in-the-dark-ages-doesn't-access-the-Internet phones from another provider when we bought the phones and switched our service. And after six months of various store managers and customer service reps crediting our account and promising us the discount would surely kick in on the very next bill, we were told last night we don't actually qualify for that discount. And, oh sorry, I'm sure it's frustrating but there's nothing we can do except give you the discount for a few more months to shut you up and then make sure you spend the rest of your contract spending twice what you did with your previous provider.

The PH then tried to break up with AT&T, telling them they were not honest with us about the terms of our contract and the fees we would be charged, but they are trying to get us to cough up more than $400 for the privilege. Why won't you let us go, AT&T? It's not you, it's me. I've changed and I realize I need to look out for my own needs. I'm sure you'll find someone (to sucker into an expensive cell phone plan).

I hate to badmouth a company, especially one that I realize has had to downsize recently and has probably lost a lot of good employees (apparently, the ones who actually knew what was going on and how to help their customers...) But I figured it's my duty. It's like if I saw you walking down the street with my ex-boyfriend who was a real jerk and I pulled you into the women's room to warn you about him.

So, you can date AT&T if you want to. But you should know that when I began my relationship with them, they made all sorts of promises. We were happy for awhile but then I got sick of AT&T not being there for me when I needed them (to apply the discount they promised). After many late-night phone calls and tears from me, I've decided it's time to end our relationship. No, AT&T, don't make this harder than it needs to be. Don't worry about bringing me a box of the things I left at your house and I won't worry about paying the ridiculous fees you're asking for.

And I would say we could still be friends, but I don't think that's going to go over too well with the new love in my life-- Verizon.

The Pre-Dating Interview: What They Don't Ask on e-Harmony

First off, thank you for the valuable input in the Exit Interview research. We had some notable additions in the comments for new questions that were all *fantabulous* - and one such comment by my friends Robyne and Pat led me to thinking: what would a pre-interview questionnaire look like for the non- online dating crowd. How would it work?

Would it be like an evite kind of thing that you'd send before going on your next date? Would you make them submit to filling it out shortly after you've met, prior to a possible next meeting?

Before I begin, however, let me just go on the record now to say if anything ever happens to my husband (like he comes to his senses and leaves me, is trampled by rabid Twilight fans or runs away with Dita Von Teese), I will remain single for the rest of my days, but will have lots of bunnies. (No, Pat. Not that many bunnies.)

So this is what I've come up with for my pre-qualification survey. I also think that, depending on the answers, you should anticipate different levels of dateyness. Like - a 75 percent would be coffee... 85 percent would be drinks... 95 percent? dinner! it's like rewarding your compatibility.

Side Note: Do people go on dinner dates anymore? (How have I suddenly turned into a 60 year old woman??)

So back to it. Here's my pre-dating survey. Please weigh in on the comments - because I so enjoy the comments.

The Before Survey

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this survey. But frankly, I think it'll save time for both of us, no?

Question 1. We've hit it off initially, it seems. There was laughter, a meeting of the minds, you seem witty and charming and I can see myself leaning into you before the night ends. So tell me - when will you call me?

a) Two days, ma'am. That is the rule set forth by the great Vince Vaughn.
b) As soon as it seems feasible that you've slept in adequately but haven't yet made plans for the next day so that I may pencil in some hang time in the afternoon.
c) I've already texted you funny thoughts that occurred to me.
d) I was going to call you when I got home. Is 2 a.m. too late?
e) When I want to hang out next... maybe Thursday? Maybe next week?

Question 2. What would your ideal plan be for the next date?

a) I don't know. Whatever. Maybe hang out. Maybe catch a flick. Whatevs.
b) I'd love to take you this great little tapas place and maybe catch some music afterward, grab a drink... go for a stroll around WH Center.
c) Have you ever been kite flying at the beach? We'll pack a picnic.
d) My mom makes an awesome chicken parm. You've gotta come by.
e) Let me check with my wife.

Question 3. When is the appropriate time to make your first move?

a) Me? Oh no. It's all on you.
b) I realize it's a family restaurant, but what the heck...
c) Third date? Fourth date?
d) When I walk you to your car and I make you laugh really loudly. I'll be so smooth you'll barely realize the awkwardness that inevitably comes with the first kiss.
e) On our wedding day.

Question 4. What is appropriate dinner conversation should you ever have to meet my parents?

a) Your conception. I'm fascinated by how you were created.
b) Oh, you know. The usual. Religion, politics, the economy, labor unions.
c) Their recent home renovation. Although it happened sometime in the 90s.
d) My ex-girlfriend's parents.
e) Whoa, Nelly. I don't meet parents.

Question 5. My BFF just broke up with her boyfriend...

a) He's an ass. He never deserved her.
b) Would you like me to pick up the Ben and Jerry's before we head over?
c) That sucks. I have tickets to U2 and will meet you at the concert. Don't be late, ok?
d) I'm sorry to hear it. Let me know if you want to meet for a post chick flick drink.
e) The hot one?


OK. This is harder than I thought. I need some help. Please provide audience participation....

Things the world needs: Exit Interview for Ex's

So I had this conversation with a very good friend of mine that I would link to if she wrote a blog but she doesn't so that just makes this an awkward long sentence.

She has had some bad luck with dating recently, and was telling me about it. Wisely, she was not seeking my advice because I don't really claim to be any sort of an expert on that, with notable exceptions.

For the most part, it's KAT that is the expert on the dating thing. Though since we're both out of practice, I thought I'd try to approach this latest dating dilemma my friend is going through with an approach I'm most familiar with: a business approach.

We've decided really, all parties would be best served by an exit interview after the last date. The problem with administering this kind of thing is that you sometimes don't KNOW when the last date is. Problematic *and* potentially embarrassing.

This is why I propose an online Exit Survey that can be administered to the man/woman who so recently decided to "go in a different direction" - mainly, away from you. (I'm totally going to create this - don't go stealing my idea, Interweb. I'll kick your pixels from here to Al Gore's house.)

So here's my sample survey, but I'd love to get some more input from the Interweb. Please add your questions in the comments.

1. Describe the main reason we won't be romantically linked going forward:

a) I'm just not attracted to you
b) I'm attracted to you, but I find myself drawn to everyone else *more* than you.
c) I have recently decided to pursue other options (the waitress from last night's date, your best friend, your sister, your ex-boyfriend, etc)
d) You are way too serious for my liking.
e) You're the bees knees, honey, but I have been kidnapped by aliens.
f) You scare me a little.

2. How would you describe my abilities as a love interest:

a) I've made out with my hand and evoked more enthusiasm.
b) You were okay, but frankly, I'm more into me. Tell me more about my eyes.
c) You were brilliant, but alas, your brilliance is intimidating.
d) You need to step it back, honey. There's no need to pack me my lunch and send me off to work with a silkscreened lunch bag says says "SJ loves J 4Ever" - on our second date.
e) You would be awesome if you showed one iota of interest in just something I did or said.
f) You were an awesome love interest. But I found a better one.

3. Does your not seeing me anymore have anything to do with (choose one):

a) me not sleeping with you?
b) me sleeping with you?
c) that time I threw up on you?
d) that time I dropped my beer all over you?
e) the fact that all of my friends (appear to) hate you?
f) that time I made you miss the Red Sox game to go to my cousin's wedding?

4. What was your favorite quality of mine?

a) I'm hilarious.
b) I'm incredibly intelligent.
c) I'm bee-you-tea-full.
d) I have tons of super awesome friends.
e) I have a really nice car/house/apartment.
f) I am incredibly fun to be around.

5. What was one thing I need to work on?

a) I need to have a better sense of humor.
b) I need to read more.
c) I need to work on my fashion sense/overall look.
d) I need to find new/more friends.
e) I am too involved with work/charities/organizing other people's lives.
f) I need to figure out how to better relate to humanity.


So. There you are. My first draft. What do we think?

Thank goodness we got tagged because I was fresh out of funny.

We were lovingly tagged by the adorable Geiger Girl.

If you've never checked out her blog, you should. She's so amusing, she's radioactive. Get how I did that there? Radioactive? Geiger?

Sorry. Am tired. No excuse I realize. Am also batshit crazy this week, however.

8 Things I am looking forward to:

1. Am dressing up like a pirate this weekend and singing sea songs. Jealous?
   
2. Leaving for Los Cabos
   
3. ... in Mexico
4. .... laying on the beach
   
5. .... drinking margaritas.
   
6. ... acting as trophy wife.
7. ... living for a week in flip flops.
   
8. .... and sundresses.
   

8 Things I did yesterday:

1. Showered. Lucky coworkers.
   
2. Worked up a storm.
   
3. Ate a turkey and brie panini.
   
4. Did some more working.
   
5. Thought briefly about the things that I still need to do before going to Mexico.
   
6. Had a very brief electronic conversation with my sister.
   
7. Met my friend Jeff for happy hour and to celebrate his a) turning 40 b) getting a new job c) leaving CT.
8. Rocked out to Fiona Apple.
   

8 Things I wish I could do:

1. Fly. Seriously. Would make my fear of heights completely dissipate. Also would make travel so much easier, and my commute so much better... really, flying is the answer to it all.
   
2. Quit my job so I could spend more time with family and friends.
   
3. Go on a European tour.
4. Write a book (started... like 3. Someday...)
   
5. Stop and/or rewind time.
   
6. Use a remote control on other people to mute them, rewind them, fast forward them and pause them.
   
7. Be more tolerant of others. And by others, this week I mean people who speak in a combination of initials and letters.
   
8. Plant a money tree. How awesome would that be?
   

8 Shows I watch:
Not sure that I can come up with 8... but will include channel flipping.

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Bones
   
3. Iron Chef America
   
4. Masterpiece Theater
   
5. Family Guy
   
6. The Daily Show
   
7. Colbert Report
   
8. The Simpsons

I am going to say, instead of tagging specifics, that if you, like me, need something to blog this week -- here you go. Consider this my gift to you.

Hugs and kisses,
sj

Cruelest April Fool's Joke Ever

.... was my friend @jackmonson making me think it was Friday.

Jack is mean.

That is all.

Happy Birthday, dude! And some other stuff.

Actually, it's not the blog's birthday.

It's my bloggy friend Pat's birthday. His *30th* birthday - which is kind of a big deal.

So if you get a chance, please endear him with happy birthday wishes and assure him that he is not old, particularly because every time he says that, it makes me feel older.

Pat, here's my gift to you:


What's that, you ask? What did I do this weekend? Well, I had fun. It involved singing Irish folk songs, singing karaoke (badly) after with my friend Henry (Pictured below. He's single, ladies. Just saying. Quite the catch. And totally made me look almost good at karaoke.) and some other fabulous friends and I topped it all off with a fun New Haven adventure that involved Frank Pepe's pizza *and* seeing dinosaurs (the Peabody museum at Yale).

All in all - good times.

Oscar Night: Someone get the popcorn.

I don't usually do this kind of blog. And by usually, I mean ever.

I decided since my original Oscar night plans fell through, it doesn't mean the glamour has to be missed (was going to attend glamorous party in fantastic blue retro inspired dress, but j and I are having a rough weekend. and he's leaving for KC first thing in the a.m.). So because of this, I chose to bake and stay home and record my thoughts via text (to various friends, but notably, our blogger friends -- Poor, Pat. It must be annoying for someone who doesn't watch many movies but has much to say about people's outfits to randomly text you.) and Twitter, where I laughed out loud at our friend Andy.

I didn't watch any of the red carpet stuff until we got home. I turned in at 8 p.m. Now, I love me some Oscar fashions. Mostly, I am jealous. Mostly, I envy their perfect size 2 figures.

However. That said, I also think that if I had their budgets and figures, I could do better.

See?

I figured, no sense letting this great outfit go to waste. So I'm dressed up, old Hollywood style. It seems only right.

My initial thoughts on fashion:
Someone has stolen the sleeves off of Kate Winslett and Marissa Tomei's dresses.
Daniel Craig has to stand 10 feet away from Carrie.. I mean SJP in order to give enough room to her dress.
Jessica Biel, fire your stylist.
Amy Adams - love that necklace.
Anne Hathaway. Meh. Looks like Xanadu - the ballet.
The girl from Mamma Mia looks awesome.
The girl from High School Musical looks like someone went a little crazy with the bows.
Tilda Swinton is really beautiful. Last year, she scared me a little.
Angelina Jolie could probably wear a bag and look awesome.
Mickey Rourke scares me this year.
The girl from Slumdog Millionaire looks gorgeous.
Reese also looks like her dress changed its mind. It was going to have wide straps. And then, no. Narrow straps.


Other Oscar moments:
I was so hoping for song and dance with Hugh Jackman. He didn't disappoint.
FTW: did SJP actually introduce Matthew Broderick to an interviewer? Say what?
I forgot Roy Scheider died.
And I also forgot about Richard Widmark.
And the girl from Gone With the Wind.
And Cid Charese!
I was wondering what happened to the Heath picture, and then I figured they must have done something last year, because he died in January 2008.
"Wow. Slumdog Millionaire won again."

And granted, they're not over yet. But I'm going to guess that Slumdog wins best picture, and go to bed. I am hoping that Kate Winslett wins. Because she's awesome.

Let me know if I was wrong about Slumdog. I'm heading to bed.

what I do when my husband isn't home part 2

i sent this pic to my husband who had to work on monday. i did not. i also informed him that i picked up the dog poop in the yard and reminded him we had plans for dinner with KAT and SRG and their hubbies.



he told me i was the best wife ever. i think, however, if he had other wives, i probably wouldn't retain that title. and we probably wouldn't be married.

as for dinner? such a great time. as always. i love SRG and KAT oodles, mostly because they are fun and don't pick on me for wearing renaissance outfits and singing to twos of people. oh wait. they *do* pick on me for that. but i love them anyway. silly bitches.

current itunes song: "all my friends" LCD Soundsystem featuring Franz Ferdinand

Things Not to Do On a Date

First off, I know. I'm a serious blog slacker this week and last week. I'm really sorry. I'm making the rounds tonight, however, as I drink my third martini.

(Note from SJ: I started this Friday, but finishing Saturday. In the 24 hour period, I've had four martinis. I consider that a decent average. In fact, I should really make another one.)

My comments will likely get funnier, however -- so there's that.

But I was inspired by a friend of mine and a show that he saw that was seriously disturbing. Except that it wasn't the concert that was disturbing. It was in fact, the serious PDA issue going on.

So we had a discussion about the serious mistakes we've witnessed (or in my case, actually experienced) over the years. It brought me to this here list of skin crawling dating moments -- and just plain "you're doing it wrong" moments in my romantic life.

1) Your tongue is not a weapon.
I hope you've never experienced it -- but sadly, I bet a few of you may know what I'm talking about. Guys, when you stab your tongue so deeply and violently into our mouths that we can no longer breathe, it's not enjoyable. And that gagging noise is me begging for oxygen. Or trying to tell you something but can't form proper sounds because you have stifled me with TOO MUCH tongue. Incidentally, it is *never* okay to lick someone's face. Unless your name is Bailey and you're my springer spaniel.

2) DUDE. Get Your Hands... Off...
There are few things worse than being inappropriately groped in public -- particularly when you're, say, in line at the grocery store. There's a limit to my love. And that limit is in plain sight when I could run into my kindergarten teacher, or worse, my mom.

3) Ouch. Stop. Stabbing me with your chin.
Have you ever met the angry kisser? I have. He used to attack me. I'm not sure if he was so afraid of rejection that his method of attempting to kiss me was to do it machine gun style, but whatever the reason, it was a scary thing. I tended to dodge. I dodged once and nearly got a black eye, however. Note: This is far worse if the dude has sharp, pointy facial hair.

4) The neck grab.
Okay - now, I admit, that I do sometimes like a little -- minor -- forcefulness. Like for instance, we're in a heated debate over the election of 1912 (which, is highly possible. Have you met my husband? History geek. And I love him for it), and in order to shut me up, he decides to kiss me. Okay, so my husband doesn't do this - but I wouldn't mind if he did. However -- what is *not* okay is when the dude wrestles you from behind and puts you in a chokehold. This is least effective when the guy is your height or shorter than you. I'm not sure why they think the Vulcan neck pinch is acceptable and necessary to kiss you.

5) The Stone Lipped Man.
Have you met him? He's a really super awesomely nice guy. But somehow, he managed to turn 26 without ever learning how to kiss. I was about 22. We dated a few times, and he refused to make a move. Finally, one night after cooking me dinner, he attempted to kiss me. Only he somehow replaced his lips when I wasn't looking with cold, hard marble. It was just. I mean. No. Not good.

6) Sand paper face.
Before every date, I make a point to shave my legs. Even now, when my dates are going to Home Depot with my husband -- still I shave my legs. But goodness. Those make out sessions with guys who don't shave -- OUCH. I like having skin on my face. And I like kissing you. Don't make me choose.

7) The questionable move.
Maybe I don't speak for all women, but I know I speak for most of the ones I know: don't make us make the first move. It can be subtle. We don't need a hollywood kiss. Just maybe -- the brush of your lips across the cheek. A forehead kiss. Something sweet, romantic and subtle enough to let us know that you're into us. There's nothing worse than those limbo dates. And trust me - we do analyze these moments for hours on end. No pressure.

I'm sure I missed some things... and I would be willing to bet that our reading public has some good stories. So, let's hear them. Worse dating faux pas? Anybody? Is this thing on?

I'd like to thank the Academy... and Sam

I won an award! I'm so honored... although I suspect that this one will be a particular challenge.

I won this:



Which is totally awesome. Thank you, Sam! I heart you and your awesome blog...

But there are rules to follow, kids, so I can't get ahead of myself. I have to do these things:

A) first list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!
B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap."

This is going to be tricky, because I have been telling you all too much about myself for a long time now. What could you *possibly* not know?

well, let's give it a whirl, shall we?

SJ's 10 Honest Confessions
1) I am a nester, a packrat and a mess. I accumulate crap so much - I have no idea where it all comes from. But I collect things in piles, and when I clean, I tend to go in the opposite direction and trash large amounts of things (though not blindly, because I also tend to take DAYS to fill two garbage bags).

2) I am terrified of being alone at night -- and being alone in general. When j is traveling, I keep the light on downstairs, and usually can't fall asleep without a few glasses of wine. While I would never remarry, I would likely have a string of bad relationships. I say this based on previous experience.

3) I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I don't plan to stay in my current field beyond the next two years. I'm hoping my next job allows me to work in sweat pants and on my couch.

4) I am a fairly private person -- well, you know... except for all of the crap I spill on the blog. But I can count on one hand the people that know my deepest, darkest thoughts and secrets. I am afraid of any one person knowing me too well, so I tend to share only small pieces of things to those five.

5) If a can of frosting is left in the fridge, I will eat it. Ergo, I only make homemade frosting.

6) I have a deep and passionate lust for DVF clothing, though my closet is limited to just one dress and one skirt. But my closet bursts forth with another 12 black dresses, 4 black skirts, and another half dozen shirt dresses of varying color and pattern.

7) I have used the power of my cleavage to my advantage, and I likely will again.

8) I am easily grated by people who claim to be addicted to exercise. In fact, I can't stand those people.

9) I hate meeting new people, and have intense anxiety about going to new places and being forced to mingle. I'd prefer to pluck out every single one of my eyelashes.

10) I cannot drink out of a bottle that someone else is drinking out of -- no matter who it is. The idea of drinking someone's backwash is enough to turn my stomach.

And now I must tag and offer this award up to 7 deserving bloggy buddies... which is tricky. Because some of my favorite people to tag have already been tagged a million times. So, I'm going to emphasize new and old favorite bloggers worthy of such an award:

srg
TishTash
Muffy
Stephanie
Geiger Girl
KAT (is it cheating if I tag my co-blogger? I submit not.)
Chris

A Year in Review Part 1: Movies, Books and Music

It's no secret that I hated 2008. But, it wasn't all horrific. Just mostly.

But I was inspired by another blog I read to come up with a few top picks for the year, and while that forum features things written by professional entertainment writers, I'm going to go with things that entertained SJ, that may not have actually occurred in 2008, but are things that this late-bloomer happened to have caught in 2008.

Without further ado.

Top Movies 2008
3) Mamma Mia - Stop laughing at me. Seriously? I know it was cheese. I know people don't usually burst out into song (actually, I have been known to do this on rare occasions. Or not so rare. I may just do it sporadically throughout the day). The cheese factor made it, for me, the feel good movie of the year.
2) The Dark Knight - It was dark and scary, and much anticipated. I loved it. But not as much as I loved:
1) Iron Man - I'm not usually an action person. But I *Loved* this movie and Robert Downey Jr. in all his hot sarcasticness. I loved it like I love Russell Stover's Dark Chocolate assortment.

Top Albums 2008
How impossible is it for me to choose albums? Completely impossible. I'm not even sure if these came out in 2008, but they are my favorite newish albums that I just started listening to this year.
3) Promised Land by Dar Williams. Not my favorite album by her ("Mortal City" is), but I love her dearly and her fantastic lyrics and light airy voice. So. There.
2) With You by Natalie Walker. I just discovered her this year, and have been happily listening to her albums all year long. The title track on this album makes me happy to listen to.
1) Sorry. This is definitely not 2008. But. Nina Simone: Anthology. Rarely do I sit and listen to an entire album over and over again. This is one that I do.

Top Books read in 2008
These didn't come out in 2008. Sorry. I just read them this year.
3) The Wreckage by Michael Crummey. Sad and beautiful. Hard to find because he's from Newfoundland. But it's worth the Amazon pickup.
2) The Last Night At the Lobster by Stewart O'Nan. I picked up his books this year in an effort to find a local author that I could swap with my friend from Newfoundland. Ergo, I found O'Nan and read this on the train to and fro NYC. It's a quick read and a lovely read.
1) Ever year I read a classic that I missed. This year's choice, and coincidentally, my favorite book of the year: A Prayer for Owen Meany.

So I guess 2008 wasn't terribly bad, as far as entertainment goes. I'm sure there are many (ahem, Pat. Pat's anonymous commenter, KAT, j) that would disagree with me. And I'd love to hear your choices, as well.

What about you? Favorite book/movie/album?

i've had about enough, thanks.

Dear 2008,

You suck.

Can you stop soon? You have exactly 9 days to get your act together and ship the heck out before I have a temper tantrum worse than you've ever seen. Worse than, say, Kanye losing an award to Lil John, or some such.

You and your death and sickness and all that crap - and heartbreak and all that -- have just done me in. I'm done with you. What did you offer me this year? Seriously? What *good thing*? A promotion, which was okay and all (okay - that was actually pretty awesome of you) but then you riddle me with so much stress and crap that really, was it worth it? (maybe? i'm not completely sold.) Okay, granted, I did make some new friends, who are *fabulous*. And we did blog a hell of a lot more than we had previously. But on the whole, you were mean to me, 2008. And we are not parting as friends.

So how about you go the way of the other worst years ever and get out of my sight. In fact, you should go make out with 2005. I hope you two are really happy together.


sj

Grab the kids, it's group participation time! (Our fun holiday game)

So I came up with an idea for a fabulous game and I have to say that I thought of it all myself, with no help from anyone. Especially not Southernbelle. What? You don't believe me because I'm making such a big deal about this being my idea? Fine, then. It wasn't.

Southernbelle hosted a really fun game on her blog that is still ongoing. It involves a person posting their wish in the comments (such as "I wish I could turn invisible at will") and other people totally killing that wish (such as "You can turn invisible at will, but the technology is still new so you are never completely in focus when visible") and then posting their own wish. You should definitely go to Southernbelle's blog and play!

But not before you play the other fabulous game she came up with and asked us to host. Here's how it goes. I'm going to post the first half of a sentence and  you're going to complete it in the comments and then post the first half of the next sentence. So, if I write "I hate it when..." you would write something witty like "...my mom makes me pay rent for living in her basement. But I love it when..." and then the next person would finish that sentence and write the first half of the next sentence. Got it? Because I don't know how I could make it any more clear (especially since Southernbelle summed it up in a sentence when she explained it and I just provided a paragraph's worth-- it must be the journalist in me). And if we come up with a good plot line, I will be claiming it as my own work and publishing it under my byline (you have been warned...)

So, the first sentence fragment is...

"The most annoying thing about the holiday season is..."

When real life and blog life collide...

Well, not really *collide*.

But kind of. Okay not at all.

Let me just try to explain. One of the blogs I follow, as you can see, from our happy reads there on the right... See them? Okay, back to me. Focus, people! ... is called Blog Like an Egyptian. I have no idea where he got that name. I assume he really likes the Bangles. And why not, really. But the funny dude that writes it is an editor at daily newspaper nearish to where I work. I've never met him. At all. But I read his blog. And I believe we have one mutual acquaintance. But that's it. He probably thinks I'm a crazy person.

But that would just indicate that he may actually know me.

And why do I mention it? For no real reason other than the fact that it's like I know him, but I don't, and neither do my friends. But I reference his blog in conversation with other people that I do know in real life as if they must have read it too and they must know what I'm talking about. I do this with other blogs too, but notably his, because he's in CT.

Evidence A: He recently blogged about Britney and Joan Jett. So I started a conversation with someone I work with right after reading his blog that was somewhere along the lines of, "So yeah, I'd spend $125 to watch that insanity unfold."

Blank stares ensue. Then I spend 10 minutes trying to cover like I didn't just have a conversation with someone in my head before speaking out loud.

Evidence B:
j: Have you heard from any of your friends today?
me: Yeah! Andy had this brilliant idea to come up with definitions for word verification... and sb is so my twin. Have you ever heard Aussie slang?
j: huh?

I confess the lines between our bloggy world and our real world can get fuzzy. And throw Twitter and FB and forget it. I have an electronic identity crisis.

I figure I'm not alone. Right?