Hmm, maybe I need to add a "large and lumpy" category...

It's easy to think that the categories get broken down into "pregnant" and "not pregnant." But my extensive research (i.e. getting knocked up) has shown otherwise. I now present to you "FunnyGal KAT's Pregnancy Phases" (by FunnyGal KAT) (also, copyright FunnyGal KAT 2010).

1. Oh my gosh, I'm pregnant! Yay! But I can't tell anyone! Boo! But still, I'm pregnant! Yay! (*please note that this phase may vary slightly for high school students who find themselves in the family way...)

2. Boy, she's packing on the pounds, huh? I don't want to say anything, but even her face looks like it's gained weight.

3. Could she be pregnant? It kind of looks like she's getting a belly. So, pregnant? Either that or it's been a long winter without a lot of exercise for her.

4. I really think she's pregnant. But there was that one time I asked someone when they were due and they looked ready to punch me, so I'm not going to ask.

5. You're pregnant? I thought so. (Ha! I totally guessed that one! So she's not "Fatty McGiantAss"-- she's just glowing from the pregnancy.)

6. Ooooh, yeah. She's pregnant. Like, really pregnant. I'd better get out of here before she asks me to catch the baby.

I'll let you decide where I fall on this spectrum...

Let's make a deal

If there is anything I love more than shopping, it's getting a good deal. I can enjoy a new shirt or dress, but will love it even more if I know I got a good deal on it. And I got a heck of a deal this weekend at a consignment sale for baby and maternity stuff.

One of the school PTOs put on the consignment sale this weekend and I figured it might have some good kid and maternity stuff. It turns out the whole sale was full of maternity, baby and children's stuff (I will be going back every year to buy the following year's sizes). And the maternity rack was huge (yay for moms of elementary school students who are done having kids!)

Pea in the Pod dresses for $20 (which I've heard usually sell for $80), cargo pants for $5-

$10 and shirts for $4 (I got four shirts for the price of one at GAP maternity!) And the stuff is all in great shape-- so great that if I take care of it, I could probably sell it at the consignment sale in a few years.

And this obsession with being frugal obviously runs in the family because kat's lil sis called me a few weeks ago to describe a consignment sale in her area where she got 20 items of clothing for Peyton and a few toys for less than $40. Then she had spotted an infant carrier and called to ask if I was going to register for one. I figured I would and she asked how I would feel about a used one that cost $5. Heck, for $5, I can love almost anything!

She sent the carrier, which is in great shape. I tested out and can now vouch that it works just as well as a new one.

Missing Callie

A good dog passed away today. Callie was our family dog for about 20 minutes before kat's lil sis became her master. And the two of them ended up living in more places than I've even visited (what does it say when your furry, four-legged niece is more well-traveled than you are?) I think lil sis said Callie made eight moves in her 11 years before finally settling down in Georgia-- well, as much as she could settle down with two other dogs and two kids in the house!

I was away at college when my family brought Callie home and didn't get to meet her for a few more weeks. But I am still proud of the fact that I was the one who named her, even from afar (and, after, I should add, a two-hour span of her being called "Hailey" before everyone decided the name didn't fit her).

A big, gentle German shepherd, she loved people and most other dogs. I didn't realize how big and powerful she looked until I started taking her for walks in the woods and watched as other people dragged their children and dogs off the side of the trail until we passed. It didn't help that Callie would choose those times to bark ferociously as I tried to both lead her past and yell, "She's gentle, I swear! She just likes to bark!" at the same time.

Kat's lil sis took wonderful care of her-- taking her for hikes in the Colorado mountains, letting her swim in the lake in Connecticut and talking walks along the beach with her in Florida (seriously, I think there are more photos of Callie in picturesque places than there are of me!) And Callie always adapted to it all-- even to the addition of lil sis' husband, two more dogs, one rambunctious toddler and a baby. She will be missed.

And that, my friends, is the last sad news I want to hear for the rest of my pregnancy. I can't handle bad news on top of these flowing hormones. When lil sis called to tell me the news, I think she stopped crying long before I did (in fact, I know she did because I'm still crying as I write this). Only happy news from now on, OK?

He Loves Me - Not for My Sterling Brain

From: J
Sent: Wed, 3/24/2010 10:01am
To: SJ
Subject: RE: are you in yet?

Are you in yet?

From: SJ 
Sent: Wednesday, March 24, 2010 10:51 AM
To: J
Subject: RE: are you in yet?

yes. i'm here.  such a headache, though.

From: J
Sent: Wed, 3/24/2010 10:56am
To: SJ
Subject: RE: are you in yet?

sorry.  did you drink enough?

From: SJ
Sent: Wednesday, March 24, 2010 1:55 PM
To: J
Subject: RE: are you in yet?

i had some pasta for lunch. and lots of water. am somehwat better. i am tired. i need a nap.


im gonna go for one soon.

 
From: J
Sent: Wed, 3/24/2010 1:56pm
To: SJ
Subject: RE: are you in yet?

your going to go for a nap soon?

From: SJ
Sent: Wednesday, March 24, 2010 1:58 PM
To: J
Subject: RE: are you in yet?

oh no. i meant. walk. i forgot the sentence "maybe i should go for a walk"

From: J
Sent: Wed, 3/24/2010 2:02pm
To: SJ
Subject: RE: are you in yet?

i love you.  you are cute.

He tried to make it sound like I'm the crazy one...

I called the Pretend Husband after he left for work this morning and had this conversation:

Me: Did you take your lunch to work with you today?

Him: Yes.

Me: Did you notice anything strange about the fridge?

Him: No. What was strange?

Me: Oh, the half-gallon of ice cream sitting in the refrigerator, for example.

Him: I thought I put it back in the freezer.

Me: Were you drunk last night?

Him: No. And I don't know why I'm expected to notice that. It's not like I did a "Where's Waldo?" search of the fridge where I looked through to see what didn't belong. I grabbed my lunch and left.

Me: I didn't do a search. I opened the fridge and a big container of ice cream was sitting right in front of me. Are you sure you weren't drunk?