One born... one still cooking...

First off, let me just publicly reiterate that KAT and the PH make a damn fine looking kid, if I do say so.

Between the squishy baby cheeks and the little kissy face, he's really quite adorable. Which is perfect, you realize, because obviously, I'm excited to have such a cute son-in-law.

As KAT and the PH adjust to life with the newborn, J and I have been extremely busy finding goats, getting deeds to our tract of land, going through our Wii games, etc. You know. All to arrange the dowry.

The only problem I foresee is that instead of having a sweet little baby girl, my womb appears to be occupied right now by a very large starfish.

It's the only way I can explain feeling simultaneous kicks to both of my ribs and my groin at the same time. We've ruled out twins, thanks to some very active, very thorough ultrasounds. But at some point since then, my child has obviously morphed into an exoskeletal sea creature.

I am starting to get a little anxious as my impending due date approaches, of course. Particularly after my doctor announced at my last appointment that my baby seems to be going through ANOTHER growth spurt. (At one point, she said "Whoa. That is the head.") I'm taking it in stride though. Perhaps she'll settle down a bit... relax. Maybe slow the growth a bit so she's not, you know, a toddler at delivery.

But, the FunnyKid has inspired us to move along our baby preparedness efforts so that little FunnyGirl can have a place to lay her tiny head.

Note: chandelier installed. But we don't have a single diaper in the house. Or a car seat yet.

Well, THAT'S never happened before...

SJ and I checked out a couple of tag sales this weekend to make sure there isn't any baby stuff we're missing (conclusion: there isn't). At one of the tag sales, the 10-year-old son of the woman hosting the sale starting following us around all used car salesman-like. "Is there anything in particular you're looking for? I can help you find it." "Did you see this toy? It's in great shape."

It was cute... for the first few minutes. And then I felt like saying, "Listen, can you let me browse through your family's crap in peace?" But, somehow, despite my looking exclusively at the baby stuff and-- you know-- the huge belly protruding in front of me, he missed the fact that I was pregnant until his mom asked when I am due.

I answered and that's when Car Salesman Jr. said, "You're having a baby?" and then reached.out.and.rubbed.his.hands.all.over.my.stomach. I mean, I understand the fascination little old ladies have with pregnant bellies, but getting groped by a 10-year-old is a first for me.

And just to show what an evil mind I have, my first thought as this happened was the desire to point at SJ and proclaim, "She's pregnant too!" while running for the safety of the car.

Funny how dessert seems to be a theme every time SJ and I get together-- Happy birthday, my friend!

To mark this very special day-- the anniversary of SJ's birth-- I thought about doing something similar to last year, where I broke into SJ's house and left dessert in her fridge. The only problem I foresaw with the plan was the fact that SJ doesn't actually own that house anymore, which would have been weird not only for me to be walking around in it, but probably a little unnerving for the new owner when SJ walked in to get her dessert out of the fridge.

So, in the interest of not getting either of us arrested (and since she gave me a key to her new house, but not the alarm code...), I guess I will have to trade in chocolate-covered break-ins for one of those traditional birthday letters SJ and I have become so good at.

So, SJ, this is it. The last birthday either of us gets to celebrate without kids to distract us from the partying that should go on not only on our birthdays, but whenever we feel like it. Somehow, I have a feeling that your best gift next year won't be a blog post from little ol' me, but the fingerprint-covered card that gets handed to you by a drooling, grinning kiddo. But that's how it should be.

What a year this has been. You moved, I painted, I got knocked up, you got knocked up, J painted... I think that about sums it up. But it leaves out the important parts, like our "Pregnant Woman Support Group" on Thursday when we made fruity "mocktails" and talked about symptoms that probably would have had our husbands abandon us if they had ever heard about them. Or the Saturdays spent going to tag sales and spending hours in the car talking about everything from what life was like to what it's going to be like later this year. Or the many, many hours of dinners and Setback now that we live only 4.2 miles apart.

It's been quite the journey, SJ. From poor reporters at a local newspaper (one of us who wore clothing with funny patterns and the other a snob who "knew" she could never be friends with someone who dressed like that) spending Friday and Saturday nights hanging out at bars (you were dating and then engaged, but never had a problem being my wing man), to moms-to-be who consider it a wild night out when the Setback games last beyond 10 p.m. I have a feeling that self-imposed curfew is going to be getting even earlier, but I'm not worried. We'll just have to pack the fun into a shorter amount of time.

And it has been fun. I can't imagine what my late twenties and early thirties would have looked like without you in them to listen to me, to keep me grounded, to cry with me, to make me laugh time and time again, to tell me when I'm wrong, to understand what I'm going through, to be such a good friend you went and got knocked up so I would have someone to go through pregnancy with and to always be willing to help me finish the extra ice cream in my freezer.

Speaking of which, when are we going out for ice cream to celebrate? Happy Birthday, SJ!

No, I will not pay $4 for your slightly-used roll of paper towels

SJ and I hit up a bajillion consignment sales, tag sales and consignment shops this weekend in our quest to outfit both our pregnant selves and our future offspring in awesome clothes for cheap. I won't bore you with details, but it involved me finding the bouncy seat I registered for at half the price at a consignment shop and SJ hoping she really is having a girl because she bought some flowery GAP sweaters that were too cute to resist.

Going to so many places allowed us to kind of compare how people run their tag sales-- and just how much they value their possessions. For example, one tag sale had a Baby Bjorn infant carrier priced at $30 (they retail for $80). Another tag sale had the same one priced at $8. I found some really cute prints of frogs that would have gone well in our nursery-- until I noticed the woman wanted $50 for them. I'm not sure I spent $50 in the entire day, let alone on a single set of items.

On the flip side, we found a tag sale that wanted $1 apiece for maternity tops and 50 cents or a dollar per baby outfit. We like tag sales like that and left with huge piles of clothes.

Here's how I see it. Yes, you paid a lot for your stuff (especially baby stuff, which is not cheap!) Yes, it's in good shape. No, you're not going to get your money back. And let's be honest-- you were probably planning on giving it away anyway. Here's your chance to see it go to a good home and make a couple of bucks in the process. But don't expect to be able to re-do your kitchen on your tag sale proceeds. Because, being the seasoned tag sale veterans we are (OK, SJ more than me, but she's teaching me), we are going to sniff out whatever deals you have (hello, brand new Bundle Me for $10) and leave the expensive stuff for the suckers. Either that, or we will return at the end of the day and bargain with you until SJ pays $20 and walks off with more brand name baby outfits than she can carry.

The dream in which the Funny Gals predict their babies' sex

So, though I've been pregnant for about 15 weeks, I haven't really dreamed about being pregnant, or about the baby.

At all.

That is, until last night. I'm not sure if it was the unhealthy nacho dinner, the gigantic side of carrots that constituted my lunch or something else entirely, but I did dream - not only about my baby, but about KAT's as well.

I dreamt that KAT and I were at the doctor's office. That doesn't seem odd, although, we don't actually have the same doctor or even the same practice. But we were both there, and there was an ultrasound in the room. So naturally, when the doctor stepped out, KAT asked me to do an ultrasound on her baby. Um. So I did. She wanted me to find out what she was having - but she didn't want me to tell her.

Right. So I did that. And then, just to be sure I was right about the sex, I opened up the pouch where she keeps the baby, and checked it out. Yep! It's a girl! We had an odd pact though, that we wouldn't let each other actually see the babies, because then we wouldn't want to put them back in their pouches so they could continue growing.

Then, KAT checked my baby out from my pouch. First she said "It's a Boy!" And I was in such shock that I didn't believe her. I had been so certain I was having a girl... and that SHE was having a boy. Then she followed it up with, "Oh, I'm just kidding! It's a girl!"

And so it came to be that KAT and I are having girls.

But we're also kangaroos, so.... you know. Grain of salt and everything.

Don't let SJ fool you. She didn't get pregnant for the blog-- she did it for me.

So, exciting times around here, huh? Although that's about all the excitement I can take until the funny kids arrive in the fall. So don't expect any more big announcements from us, unless SJ finds out she's having twins (ha! I love the look on her face when I say that!)

If you've come to know me at all through this blog, you know that I am not capable of-- say-- calling kat's lil sis and simply announcing, "SJ is pregnant too!" Nope. Instead, I called lil sis and said, "So I take it you're not going to be pregnant with me."

And she FREAKED OUT. "KAT, are you kidding? I had a baby three months ago!"

I replied, "I just thought it would be nice to be pregnant with someone."

She continued yelling, "Did you really think I was going to get pregnant so soon. Are you crazy?"

I think she would have kept going, but I interrupted and said, "I wanted someone to be pregnant with. Lucky for you, I convinced SJ to do it instead."

Silence. Then, "SJ is pregnant?" and all sorts of celebration on the other end of the phone (I'm guessing it was part excitement for SJ and part relief that I didn't seriously expect her to be pregnant again).

As I said in the comments (and have said to SJ in person a bunch of times), Congratulations! I'm excited to have someone to go through all of this pregnancy craziness with, I think it will be cool to have our kids so close in age (we joke that they are destined to be best friends or future spouses) and, on behalf of little sis, thanks for getting pregnant so she didn't have to.

A true friend...

...doesn't mind when you invite her over for drinks and, although they may be lovely, they contain no alcohol.

(Although I suspect she did a shot with the Pretend Husband when he got home and I went to the bathroom.)

For all the preggos reading the blog these days (Kellie, I'm looking at you!), here's the awesome drink I threw together:

Equal parts orange juice and pineapple juice

A splash of ginger ale to make it fizzy

Grenadine, which, if you pour it over the back of a spoon, sinks to the bottom

A cherry

Drinking it out of a martini glass or champagne flute is a must.

My blogging return: Letters for my best friend

Dear KAT,

Thank you for holding up the ol' blogfort for the past several...months... while I've been away. It's not that I don't love our bloggy world so immensely - because I totally do - but I am a lazy schmuck. 

But NOW things are different. NOW you're knocked up and I have to get off of my lazy non-blogging butt and make up for being so lazy while you can rest while you gestate.

Sure, I could be a jerky BFF and blog about the martini parties I went to, or the wine-tasting affairs I've been at -- but frankly, I'd be lying AND a jerk, so that's no good.

I could tell you things like: you're going to be an AMAZING mom, you look beautiful pregnant and I can't wait to see the large-headed little baby that pops out in a few months. Motherhood totally suits you.

In fact, I'll stick with those things, because they are all TRUE.

It's been an awesome experience being an aunt, as you know, so I can only imagine what it's going to be like to be a mom. I'm honestly a bit relieved you're going through this first. You can let me know how that works for you.

But really, don't you think you went a little overboard on ways to get new blog material?

With love, chocolate and kleenex,
SJ