SJ's List: Things that Failed this Week

I'm tired and cranky, but somewhat appeased by a fantastic bagel, and taking a minute out of my day to confess that I've been out there, lurking on your sites, and not commenting. Sorry, Interweb.

But in hopes of entertaining with my misfortune, I have compiled a list of things that failed this week.

1) My spelling of the word "week." I've corrected it from wek at least 14 times so far in this post.
2) My ability to comment on various blogs, including Andy's, Sam's, Muffy's - just to name a couple. Or wait. That's more than two. Just to name a threesome, then. I've totally lurked... hit the comment button and then: Brain Fail.
3) Time. I had nothing to do with this. Time failed me. Or daylight lose an hour of sleepness. Whichever.
4) Sleep also failed me.
5) The ending to last night's Grey's Anatomy. FAIL.
6) My ability to slam a door in someone's face. FAIL. Because I don't have one.
7) My rule of not staying past 7 at work.
8) My strict I'm Going to Mexico diet.
9) My intentions of restarting my pilates routine.
10) My plan to clean my extra room and start sewing.

So yeah, this was, on the whole, an unsuccessful week. However, we may end on a positive note, since KAT and I will be bonding over tacos and setback tonight. I know. I bet you wish you were with us. We wish that too. I'd invite you over, but it's not my house.

I hope that next week will be better for all of us. It's already looking up, what with it not being an hour shorter and all.

OH! AND! This weekend I will have an important annoucement. It has to do with... babies.

In this post, I try to coherently tie together two completely different subjects... how'd I do?

Wouldn't you know, on a day when I actually have something to blog about, we get tagged! WildARS has signed us up for a photo thing where you have to pick the sixth photo of the sixth folder in your computer and post the photo (thanks Andy, I'll remember this...) I've been tagged for this before, but never remember to do it after I get home, plus our personal computer is not currently hooked up to the Internet. So, I decided to do it with my work computer. And this is what I got:

I think that's pretty self-explanatory. Oh, it's not? Well, I work for a newspaper and this photo was taken for an advertisement. Or, more likely, I so love martinis and everything that goes into them that I was creating a photo essay of how to make them. Either way...

And, back to what I was originally going to post...

This is what we get for moving to the country. A few weeks ago, I took the dogs out into the yard and wasn't paying much attention until I noticed they had been sniffing at a pine tree branch laying on the ground for a long time. I called th

em away from it to no avail, so I walked over to it... only to discover that it wasn't a branch-- it was a tail. A tail. Like a raccoon's tail (but, luckily, without any sort of body or blood or anything else too gross).

We have a fox that comes through our yard almost daily and the theory is that it brought it home as a souvenir from its last good meal. Gross, but whatever.

Then, today, again noticing the dogs sniffing at something in the front yard, I went over to discover what I think are intestines. Yeah, intestines! (Or a heart but it was big so I don't want to imagine what kind of animal that came from if it was actually a heart). A few more days and I'm going to be able to piece together an entire animal.

Grossed out yet? Me too. Let's go back to thinking about this:

There. Isn't that better?

I need a door.

i am one of the few managers at my company (one of two, really) who doesn't have a door. i prefer to sit in with my team, and help them, train them, etc. the only problem with this is that managing them is only one small piece of my job.

except lately, my being in plain sight has become an open door policy to the extreme. i cannot get anything done. at all. without being interrupted. so i thought perhaps if i put on my ipod and turn my back on the world, i could focus. that worked for 5 minutes. and then someone knocked. ON MY DESK.

seriously? how is that not rude? there are only two people allowed to do that - and they are both my boss.

anyway. i'm going back into my blog coma, because frankly, am in a deep and prolonged work funk.

i so should have gotten the puppy. i'm not going to make it to Cabo at this rate.

The PH's sudden interest in soccer, explained

OK, enough about my weird dreams about politicians. Let's talk about the Pretend Husband and just one of the things he did to make me laugh this weekend (seriously, he was on some kind of roll... I wish I had followed him around with a video camera to capture his comedy act).

Last night, the PH was in the car with me on the way to my soccer game. I casually mentioned that we were playing a team that, for some unexplained reason, was named after an-- ahem-- adult entertainment establishment in the state.

The PH's eyes got wide. "You're playing a team of strippers?!?"

I didn't even respond before he was off on a litany of jokes about playing a team of strippers (apparently, from my perspective).

"Wow, PH, you're sure eager to come to my games these days."

"Um, PH, you can't be on the field during the game. You're going to have to go back to the bleachers."

"PH? Why the sudden interest in coaching... the other team?"

My cheeks are burning as I type this...

In lieu of amusing you today, I'm going to confess something completely and utterly embarrassing (which, come to think of it, probably will amuse you). Did you ever have a dream (perhaps even a dream where you are-- ahem-- getting intimate...) about somebody that you would never, ever think about-- ahem-- getting intimate with in real life?

But you have that dream and the next time you see them, either in real life (or say... on the news), you're completely embarrassed and can't even look them in the eye (or even look at them on the screen...)? Yeah, I had one of those last night. And I soooo don't want to admit who it was because I do find it incredibly embarrassing. But, I can't think of anything else to write about today, so I will share. It was...

Barack Obama

Augh! I can't even type it without my face turning totally red. I'm not even sure why I'm so mortified by this confession of mine (except who dreams about getting lucky with politicians--  and does not having this dream about a rock star or a model make me old?!?), but I do know one thing. I will feel so much better if you tell me something embarrassing about yourself. (And if you do happen to know Michelle Obama, could you tell her I apologize for dream macking on her husband? Thanks.)