I have a little crush on the Pope.

okay. not the real pope. because that would be wrong.

but i mean the pope from the Connecticut Renaissance Faire. i spent some time chatting with the pretend pope when i was hiding from the various random men that tend to ogle you when you wear outfits like the one i was wearing. (totally my fault i realize, but you cannot authentically sing sea shanties in jeans and graphic tees.)

that dude (the pope, i mean) is living the dream. i mean, really. he's an entertainer who makes a living out of entertaining. i find it incredibly admirable. i wish i had a sustainable talent that would allow me to do that. but alas. i don't, ergo, i have a day job.

but today my day job let me do something rather fun. namely: go talk to little kids about the value of newspapers. today is national newspaper week, so in honor of that, i went to talk to a classroom of fifth graders all about their newspapers.

andy, you'll be happy to know they still read them.

i was a little nervous that i'd walk in with a pile of newspapers and the children would stare blankly at me like i was holding some obscure thing from the past -- like perhaps that spoon that was invented in the 1790s that was designed to shoot medicine to the back of your throat to circumvent the horrid taste as this was before the discovery of high fructose corn syrup?

you know. something like that.

but no. they totally got it. but how alarmed was i that the children didn't seem at all impressed that the first online newspaper "recently" debuted in 1994? likely because they, in fact, were not born until 1998. 1994 was 14 freakin' years ago. that's a freshmen in high school.

when i was a freshmen in high school, the extent of our technology was message boards on prodigy. (anyone? can i get a holla back for message boards?) i can't imagine having a high school relationship in the days of instant messenger.

there is *no way* i would have sustained a relationship longer than an hour.

Now I've seen everything...

I was at the mall tonight with the Pretend Husband and the pretend sister-in-law when she and I noticed someone wearing a T-shirt with this on the front:

It's probably not an uncommon T-shirt, especially in the area we were in. Except, oh yeah, the person wearing it was a 10-year-old boy. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised as he went up to a group of 17 or 18-year-old boys and, as the pretend sister-in-law said, "greeted them like they were his homies."

And that, my friends, is why I never go to the mall unless I happen to have a gift card for a restaurant in said mall that needs to be spent before we move out of the area. The end.

today sucks. sorry.

it's true. it does. i have nothing funny to say, so instead, i'm going to fill this entry with a meme.

is that wrong? sorry. maybe it is. but, to quote Chris Griffin, "I'm in no mood!"

i stole ... um... i mean, borrowed this from this random site that i found when googling.

1. what song frequently gets stuck in your head?
i frequently get different songs stuck in my head. today's song is "hard" by grey eye glances. which is a lovely song. if you don't know it, you should listen to it. i bet you'll like it.

2. Choose one line from a song that sums up your life thus far.
tough!
i really can't pick one line that sums up my life, but i can at least share one that i can relate to right now:
And I still need the beauty of words sung and spoken
And I live with the fear that my spirit will be broken

from Dar Williams' In Love but Not at Peace.

3. Do you have one all-time favorite song (if so, what is it?) or do you skip around?
i don't. i have too many. it's more like a favorite song of the day.

4. How do you listen to music most often (pod, radio, etc)?
i listen to music 20 hours of the day. all day long on my macbook, and in my car/at home on my ipod. i rarely listen to the radio.

5. American Idol: fantastic show or overrated?
don't watch it.

Random items in between packing boxes

Ok, you all are a weird bunch! Your comments on my post about my brother's offer to marry my husband were hysterical! I threw the idea out there because I thought it was a funny offer and didn't have anything else to say that day, but didn't realize you guys would embrace it so heartily. I should have known though, because you must have the same weird sense of humor (that's "humour" for you, Mollymoo!) SJ and I do to enjoy Funny Gals. Thanks for all the laughs in the middle of a stressful time (but we're moving this weekend, so perhaps the stress will lessen after that? Maybe? Please?)

And, on a more serious note, I'm going to encourage everyone to get certified in CPR. I did it last night (after years of putting it off) and am feeling pretty awesome about it. For one thing, it's so much easier than in the past-- there's very little to remember-- and dude, how awesome would it be to save someone's life? I know I would be calling them every other day like, "Hey, remember the time I saved your life? Yeah, how about meeting me for lunch? You pay. Why? Oh, a little thing called I saved your life." Which would be especially weird if I didn't know them prior to the lifesaving heroics I performed to (you guessed it) save their life.

But seriously, it took a four-hour class in first aid and CPR to get this handy-dandy little card saying I am practically a superhero (or, perhaps it says making out with a CPR dummy for a few hours last night makes me something of an expert-- I haven't really read the fine print). And you know how when you were little and you got a bike for Christmas, you couldn't wait to ride it so you rode circles around the kitchen all day while the snow fell outside? (No? Just me?) Well, anyway, that's how I feel about CPR. I know it-- now someone needs to give me a reason to put my "skillz" to work. I may just have to head over to the mall and prowl the food court, scoping out the unhealthiest eaters in the hopes the big one hits while I'm watching. Or, you know, I could just go shoe shopping instead.

wednesday's list: five things i fear

lists are so fun and so easy, aren't they? that's why today i've got a list for you to feel free to take and use when you too are feeling lazy.

five things that scare me? only five? well okay. if i insist. (get it? because i'm the one who wrote it. funny! wait. why aren't you laughing?)

1) spiders and other creepy crawly things. it doesn't matter if they're "perfectly harmless" and "don't bite" and yada yada yada. i don't like them. i don't care that they eat bad bugs. the fact that they're cannibalistic to their own kind doesn't make them less creepy.

2) driving in inclement weather. i have a huge fear of hydro-planing. and because i tend to drive over 100 miles a day, i basically live in fear each day. although, for the record, i'm not one of those people that goes 30 on the highway. i drive sensibly. but in fear.

3) losing people. i've mentioned this before. i tend to keep to myself, so when i lose someone who is close to me, i take it poorly. i hate funerals and wakes, and tend to be easily emotionally overwhelmed.

4) i am deathly afraid of heights. i can't even stand near the window in a tall building without some kind of anchor to hold on to. flying freaks me out, as you can imagine, and although i do it, i still hate taking off in a plane.

5) someone breaking into my house. to the point where i've leaned brooms and stuff against the doors when i'm home by myself. i also sleep with my phone in hand, and mag light/baseball bat in close proximity. some day, j will be knocked unconscious.