Friday, June 26, 2009

SJ's Letters to the Masses version 3.1: The Ren Faire Letters

Dear Man who attends Renaissance Faires to grope the actors,

You're icky, sir. And I realize that I may be dressed somewhat funny, and I realize that you find my outfit very pleasing to the eye, but come now. Would you want random men groping your sister?

Do I invite your groping? No, sir. I do, in fact, not.

Please back away.



On behalf of all singers and musicians that perform at festivals while dressed in costume: Thanks. Thanks a whole freaking lot. My credit is just *fine* thank you.

I bite my thumb at you, sirs.


Dear People who laugh at me for dressing up like Heidi and singing at such festivals,

I get paid. And I look *fabulous.*

And little girls wish to be me. (It's cool though, parents. I totally warn them away from a life of singing sea shanties while wearing a corset.)

Yours in song,

Dear 22-year-old SCA enactor,

I'm sorry, but we are not "fated to be together" in this lifetime, or the next. My husband is both a history nerd *and* a hottie.

Not, in fact, yours,


Dr Zibbs said...

So let's see the outfit...

Eric said...

Wait a minute, I think I saw the gropy guy you were talking about in the '' commercial.

Soda and Candy said...

Euwwww, gropage.

See, men?! See what you ruined? This is why corsets aren't part of everyday wear.

sj said...

@zibbs - dude, scroll down the page and see previous entry: sj as pirate wench.

@eric - yes. he's the one chasing the sheep.

@soda - exactly! but i do miss having a ladies maid.

Soda and Candy said...

Oh man, how sweet would THAT have been!!!

Nanc Twop said...

Oh, you're totally right, that 'Credit' ad is evil to Ren Fair entertainers - so if someone mentions it, twang your corset at them.

oh, and sea shanties?
video needed!