Well, in his defense, the turkeys WERE a selling at a big discount...

In case I didn't have enough evidence that I married my father (see also: speaking to me like I'm 10 and grounding me until I'm 40), the Pretend Husband proved it all over again at Thanksgiving.

The word spread quickly through our family that turkeys were being sold at some grocery store for only 49 cents a pound. I don't cook, but I'm told that about half of what all the other stores were selling it for and therefore, A BIG DEAL. Such a big deal that the PH was ordered to stop at the store every night on his way home from work, my brother was sent over multiple times (because he lives closest to the store) and even my sister was required to make a trip there when she flew in for the week. Because, you see, there was a one-bird limit per customer.

My dad found his way around that one by buying a turkey, putting it in his car, then going back into the store and paying for a second turkey at a different register. The PH, on the other hand, took the deception to new heights.

The PH bought his first turkey of the night then headed out to the parking lot to put it in his car. As he was walking to his car, he thought the kid that collects the shopping carts in the parking lot was eyeing him suspiciously, so the PH put the turkey in the trunk, MOVED HIS CAR TO A DIFFERENT SPACE and then, to disguise himself further, put on the coat and tie he had left in the car the first time.

Because, apparently, a coat and tie changes a man's appearance entirely? As does walking into the store from a different direction? I'm surprised the PH didn't try to buy a wig or grow a mustache or change his outfit entirely in the car. But I guess the laugh is on me because my dad is now the proud owner of five turkeys while we can boast about the four in our freezer.