Monday, December 08, 2008

More letters from sj

You'd think I'd have a great recap from the weekend, where we celebrated KAT's birthday, played just 3 games of setback, I wrote out 14,301 Christmas cards, got crafty and finished nearly all of my shopping. But alas, I don't.

Instead, I have more letters. And I do still hate low-rise tights (maybe my legs are longer than normal people?)....

***
Dear Mother Nature,

It was 10 degrees when I left my house today. And I hear tomorrow it will be 50. I think I speak for all of us in southern New England when I say "WTF?"

However, I am a big fan of Saturday evening snowfalls. So thanks for that nice 2 inch dusting that covered everything, and yet, didn't require us to do any shoveling. I'd like the same thing for late Christmas Eve, please. Maybe snow can start around 10? See what you can do.

In the meantime, your crazy mood swings with the weather continue to seriously @#% up my hair. You're a woman. Surely you understand this issue?

But again, on the other hand, I do have a great excuse for new boots.

You are indeed a fickle bitch, Mother Nature. But today, I consider us wary friends.

Yours in wool,
sj

****
Dear Star 99.9,

You and your 24 hours of Christmas carols are just great.

But maybe a little less Manheim Steamroller? I mean. I don't even... it's like... it's like I'm in the department store elevator. At Christmastime. And frankly, that's not an image that anyone wants to conjure up.

Thanks!
sj

***
Dear Cabela's,

I just wanted to thank you for the great tour we got of your store the other day while Christmas shopping. Really. We went in there for one thing, but managed to see every single department because not one person could tell us where the one thing we wanted was.

You sent us to: Camping, Archery, Auto/AV, Boating and Home/Cabin. Seriously?

I didn't need the tour. Trust me. I've been there. I've seen every department.

But I fail to see how one item could be in either Boating or possibly... Archery?

Befuddled,
sj

9 comments:

SouthernBelle said...

Dear SJ,

Sorry, I had PMS. You know how it is.

Love,
Mother Nature

PS - Did you get SouthernBelle's email? She still wants to know if you want to host her blog game idea.

xxoo

sj said...

Dear MN,
Whatever, bitch.

But, you can't be too bad if you hang with the Belle. Please tell her that I replied, and that we love her. And yes. We're all over that shizzle.

Peace out,
sj

SouthernBelle said...

sweet dudes!

PS - I hate the cold, this is so not why I moved to the South!!!

Srg said...

Maybe Cabela's sells harpoons that double as crossbow arrows? That would fit under both the archery and boating departments!

Your letters have inspired me to write one myself. I'll post it up in a bit

And I just HAD to include this word ver:
itinsu (i-TIN-su) n. - The brand-new, just released Ginsu knife made of 100% tin.

Sam_I_am said...

I don't like to cold at all. Mother Nature gets a little frigid in the winter time. I should move to the south.

FunnyGal KAT said...

What is up with you and the low-rise tights, SJ? I mean, to look at you, it's not obvious that you have some crazy long legs. And what's wrong with me, because low-rise tights fit me exactly the same as regular rise tights.

And what is wrong with me for even having this discussion?

Jen said...

I so agree with you on your letter to Mother Nature. I to loved the snowfall.. it was just perfect. I did tell E there was not enough to build a snowman.. and then he gave me a funny look later in teh day when we drove by someones house-- with a snowman in the yard. Hmm. ...they had more snow???

Star 99.9 LOVE THE HOLIDAY MUSIC!!! I dont listen enough I guess to hear the Steamroller music.. but cant get ENOUGH of this channel lately!!!

sj said...

srg: i hadn't thought of that. but no, we weren't shopping for a harpoon. or a tinsu knife (that is awesome).

sam: amen, sister. but we were in florida a few weeks ago, and it was 38. mother nature has it in for me.

kat: perhaps it's not as obvious because i long ago traded in my mini skirts for angle length wool skirts ;) but i dunno. they just hit my hip, and i'm obsessed with pulling them up all day. additionally, i can only wear tall, which is odd because in that size range thing, i'm usually in the b zone. but my toes will go right through them. and clearly, the same thing is wrong with me.

jal: i know- i forgot my ipod today, so i was forced to channel surf, but i was happy to find christmas carols on no less than 3 stations. but star 99.9 is one of the few i get the whole time.

scargosun said...

Can I sign your letter to Mother Nature? My skin is about to crawl off of me for it's condition with the heat and cold.