holy crap. everyone in the world is having babies.

... except for me, that is.

First off, a shout out to my newest nephew... Noah Foster. My sister T had her second baby a week ago yesterday and he's a healthy, bouncing baby boy. I got to hold him for the first time on Saturday. He's really cute and so perfect little newborn baby looking. Not too wrinkly, not monkee-like. Just like a little baby that just got born.

So Saturday I was visiting with all of my nephews and my sisters when my mom called to tell me that our friend's mom was looking for me to see if i could help her with our friend's baby shower the next day. I called her back from my sister's phone, and told her sure. I can help her set up and stuff.

How hard could that be?

***Let me just say to Joy, my dearest and oldest friend of 25+ years, if you're reading this, I love you to pieces, more than you'll ever know, so please stop reading. You can read this in five years. Or not at all. Go about your merry way. Go visit Damomma.com. Or go read SRG's blog. But read no further....****

I knew I was in trouble when I asked the mom what time she needed me to be at the club.

Her response was "Well, what time do you wake up?" For the next ten minutes, I tried very hard to get off the phone, ("I really have to go -- I'm at my sisters and...") My nephews, bless them, helped me by screaming in the background for their Auntie SJ.

So when I did get off the phone, my sisters' phone rang about two minutes later. It appears that the mom refused to believe that I didn't have a home phone and only use my cell phone. She asked my sister the number to my home phone. Anonymous tried to convince her that I really didn't have one, but I think she still believed I was keeping it from her.

I showed up on Sunday, at my appointed 9:30 time (the shower was to start at 12:30) only to discover that there was no one else there except for her and her husband. I offered to call and get help, but she told me that I couldn't, because she had already told people she didn't need anyone, and what would they think if there was someone else there?

My first thought was: "That you needed help..." But I held it in.

Now, I should mention that I had my share of shower prep with this mother before, as we worked together to plan my friend's bridal shower three years earlier. But the baby shower, she assured me, would be better. "Well, you picked the centerpieces out last time..." "That was *your* decision.." And my internal dialogue was something like: Really?! Because I recall I had to get express permission before doing anything. Which is odd, because I actually purchased them. And the favors. And the invites. And the balloons. And the helium tank. And put them all together. Until you decided that the centerpieces weren't good enough so you decided to purchase ivy plants to go in all of the precious little teapot planters I had found.

This from the same woman who, at her daughter's wedding, said to her friends at the reception when I was a mere 10 feet away: "....This is *my* day, after all..."

After the fifth comment that felt like an intentional jab, I couldn't hold my tongue any longer. I told her, in a very sweet voice, that the rainbow colored bears she had found really reminded me of the Grateful Dead bears. That seemed to shut her up for the next hour or so.

And after setting up the centerpieces and corresponding favors using the color wheel the mom supplied me with, and blowing up nearly 4 dozen balloons, I was a little ready for a nap. I took a half hour break to get some coffee and solace at my sister's house before returning, fully prepared to ooh and ahh over the beautiful baby stuff.

When I had just about finished with the decorations, I looked around to reserve a table for our friends... after all, the mom had told me "I would have saved a seat for you at the head table, but...."

The shower itself was beautiful and very elegant (it was the only country club baby shower I had ever attended -- and we live in Connecticut).

Thankfully, by this time, reinforcements had come. We spent the next five hours laughing over wedding and baby dramas in our lives and having a wonderful time.

Looking back at these stories -- crazy mothers of brides and grandmas to be, the crazy things people tell you (like KAT, you HAVE to wear a veil - how will they know you're the bride??) -- I can safely say that none of these "traumas" would ever change the way I feel about my friends.

I'm sure that they'd stand by me, blow up balloons till they had no skin on their finger, put up with whatever drama I may be faced with (" have no one to marry us!"), and maybe even throw me a kicking party (as they have so many times in the past...)

All in all, here's to friends, and helping your friends get through whatever they need to get through, however they need to do it.