Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Save the drama for yo' baby mama

I just had a coworker in my office bellyaching about his relationship of about four months. He wanted to go out for a beer tonight and his gf got really upset. The arguing went on... and on... and on, from what I can ascertain from his side of things. She even threw in, "When we're lying on the couch together each night, I know all you're thinking about is how much you want a beer!" And, seeing as how this guy isn't an alcoholic, that's kind of an odd statement, as well as completely not true.

It's a relationship between two people in their early 20s (remember those days?), the kind where he hasn't seen his friends in the four months they've been dating because he wants to spend every waking minute with her, but then isn't "allowed" to go out for an hour one night without the drama.

Then it got me thinking about what dating was like in my early 20s (and, let's be honest, even in my late 20s). The Pretend Husband was picking on me the other day for some of the men I dated in the past and, I have to admit, I deserve it. Among the gems...

- The dude who invited me over to his place for the first time, then fell asleep with his head in my lap. I couldn't move, couldn't reach the remote to watch TV and still sat there like an idiot waiting for him to wake up. And yet, I kept dating him...

- That was the same guy who invited me to his sister's wedding after we had been dating only a month. I sat at the head table NEXT TO THE BRIDE and am in a bunch of the photos. We broke up a few days later. I can't remember what he looks like, but his family has those nice wedding photos to remember me by.

- How about the- ahem- older guy who I suspect was a closet alcoholic. His night stand next to his bed? A mini fridge stocked with beer so he wouldn't have to get up and walk allll the way to the kitchen to get one (it was a condo... the kitchen was about 10 steps from the bedroom).

- Or the 30-year-old who still lived in his mom's basement? He had a good story about moving home to help her after his dad died, but his dad had passed away like, five years earlier, and I almost never saw his mom there so I don't think she needed much help. She finally had to move away and sell the condo out from under him to get him out on his own!

Thinking about the winners from my past just makes me all the more thankful for the PH who, although not perfect, is a lot closer than those dudes! And hearing the drama from my coworker makes me all the happier I'm not dating a 23-year-old drama queen.

How about you? Any good stories?

7 comments:

Little Sis said...

My all-time winner?......the guy who, after a night of heavy college drinking, used to wet my bed...with me in it! It seriously gave me a phobia for a while.

Molly said...

Um, I have a few years on you so therefore I have met a few more "winners" but there isn't one that particularly stands out. I did have a rather naughty affair with an almost married architect and he was the reason I moved to America, but I really can't divulge anymore because I embarrass myself when I remember the things I did!

sj said...

wow... those are some doozies, ladies. i don't think i could beat that one from little sis.

i do have a couple of winners. i have one gem of an ex that i dated for about 6 months who was reallly into LARP (i once tried talking to him when he was in character... lordy). i also dated a guy for two years (he was significantly older than me) who sat me down because he had "something serious" to discuss with me. he had bought a house the year before and we had spent much time fixing it up, finding furniture together, etc.

His talk?
He wanted to tell me that his brother was moving in with him. We broke up a week later. And two days after that, J and I had our first date.

FunnyGal KAT said...

To translate for SJ: LARP means live action role playing (which I just Googled because I thought maybe I am the only person who doesn't know the acronym, but now I'm thinking SJ is the only one who DOES... who talks like that?!?)

I once had a single date with a guy who was unable to laugh. I was on top of my game that night with the hilarity and his response was to keep a straight face and say, "That's funny." It drove me nuts!

Lil sis, I think I know who you're talking about... was it JB? I've never heard that story but, uh, that's gross.

Molly said...

Oh I just remembered I had a blind date with a guy last year and I had to go to the bathroom and call Bunny and make plans for her to call me in 10 minutes with an "emergency" so I could leave! Dullest night of my life.

sj said...

well, KAT, when you hang out with enough rennies, you pick up such terms...

Srg said...

sj - I remember that guy with the house! You were dating him when we got married! And now I know why you broke up him. Sheesh - I remember we had you guys over one night and he was yawning at like 7pm! And didn't he continue to hang out with your dad even after you broke up with him? Weird!!