This post is better than nothing.

It’s the dog days of summer where half your coworkers are on vacation, the other half are doing everything they can to keep you from getting anything done and you’re cruising the Internet from blog to blog trying to find something interesting to keep you awake read.

KAT to the rescue! I don’t have too much to report, other than the continuation of the wedding plans (OK, I probably lost at least half the audience after giving that away, but I’m going to soldier on for the one person left reading rest of you). By the way, you can blame my friend Tiffany (not her real name, but you can probably ascertain what fabulously glamorous company she works for, can’t you?) for my posting without anything interesting to report. Although Tiffany and I have been terrible about keeping in touch, we finally got a chance to chat the other night and she mentioned that, although I have no idea what’s going in her life, she does check up on mine every once in awhile by reading FunnyGals. Although– ahem, Tiffany– she has yet to leave a comment to prove her readership.

Anyhoo, the wedding plans progress, with a break every once in awhile for either the Pretend Husband or I to exclaim, “Oh my god, we’re getting married!” or “It’s really going to happen!”

This was a particularly productive weekend as I raced to Massachusetts for a whirlwind visit with college friend (and wedding party member) MM and her husband MM. Then (the female) MM and I went to pick up my wedding band, which is all sparkly and shiny and very hard to take off (because it’s so beautiful, not because I have fat fingers or anything!)

Then I spent Sunday shopping with the Pretend Mother-in-Law and K, who have the best luck ever when it comes to shopping. The PMIL tried on one outfit, which ended up being absolutely perfect and that’s the one she bought to wear to the wedding…. And did I mention it cost only $30? Then K found not one, but three outfits, any of which are perfect wedding attire. Then we went shoe shopping and not only did they find perfect shoes to wear to the wedding, but I did too! (And I wasn’t even looking). I should mention that I’m not wearing a traditional wedding gown so finding matching shoes is a bit harder than finding the perfect white pair (and that’s all the hinting I’m going to do about that until after the wedding).

As though all that wasn’t productive enough, I spent my entire evening yesterday finishing gluing all the parts of the invitations together and beginning to address the envelopes (because it wouldn’t be a KAT wedding if I didn’t do all the crafty stuff myself). And I convinced MM to come visit next week to help me assemble the centerpieces in exchange for my friendship chocolate and martinis.

My goal is to get all of my tasks out of the way so the weeks (perhaps "days" is more realistic) before the wedding are relaxing and fun and meaningful. I’d much rather be able to spend time visiting with people traveling to see us, getting my nails done and thinking about marrying my sweetie than trying to assemble everything at the last minute. And being able to eat chocolate and drink martinis while getting there is just icing on the cake.

That karma, man, can she be a bitch!

A couple of months ago, the Pretend Husband misplaced the passbook for our joint bank account (oooh, look at us being all 1985 with a quaint little passbook instead of electronic statements!). He searched for hours for it, tearing through his car, the house, etc.

All while I said helpful things like, "Where did you last see it?" and "Did you check under BOTH seats in your car?"

It drove the PH crazy that he couldn't find the thing and he was antsy through dinner, thinking about where it might have gone and how much of a pain it was going to be to replace it. Finally, he agreed to retrace his steps with me and... he found it (it was in the pocket of his pants, but he thought he had worn a different pair that day so he checked the wrong pants when he was previously looking). And then we joined the 21st century and switched to electronic banking. The End.

But it seems karma was paying attention back then because, as much as I was sympathetic to the PH's angst, I was also a little too smug. As he sweated and searched and ran around the house panicking, I thought, "I would never lose something that important."

And I was right... for a couple of months, at least. I really only have two bills to be responsible for, but they're important ones because they are the ones that allow us to live in this beautiful house. If I don't pay the mortgages each month, we may not need the PH to continue paying for electricity and cable, because neither is needed in the tent we'll be living in.

Anyway, last night, I went to pay the bills and couldn't find the booklet that has the mortgage slips in it. It's only ever been kept in one place and it wasn't there. So I searched, sweated through dinner, accused the PH of moving it and generally drove myself crazy last night (I even checked the cabinet in the bathroom because... I don't know why, but it seemed like, being the last place the booklet should be, maybe it would be there?)

Around 10 o'clock, I found the booklet tucked into a folder that, yes, contained a lot of paperwork about our mortgage, but shouldn't have included that booklet. I tried to blame the PH for moving it, but he wasn't having it.

I'm working on a theory about Molly digging it out of its hiding place, opening a drawer and slipping it into the folder where it was found, but the details have yet to pan out.


She's saying, "I didn't do it. I don't even have thumbs, dumbass!"

It's like those choose your own adventure books!

To try and map this out for you, the next post is SJ pointing you to the fourth post down, which means you should skip over the third post to get there (except if you haven't read the third post yet, then you should read that one, then the second one down, THEN the fourth one down). So the order is this one, then the third one down, then back up to the second one down then down to the fourth one down. Got all that?

You may notice (while scrolling up and down this page while trying to figure out the order of things before you give up and go read someone else's blog) that the post about SJ's birthday is a lot less colorful than it was before I messed with the code and erased all the photos from it. It's not just my lack of technical savvy (although I don't think anyone would argue that I have any), but an attempt to keep our lives somewhat private. I mean, it gets so tedious to be trying to have a quiet night out with your fiance and having people approach constantly to compliment you on your wit and gush about how they LOVE your blog (I mean, I assume it does... perhaps someone who has actually experienced this could tell us?)

In any case, the photos were a bunch of shots of us laughing and drinking alcohol. If you need to see that, you're welcome to join us on Friday night.

!@%!#%% blogger.

no. this isn't quantum leap or anything like that.


my post about my birthday is actually under KAT's because i had started it on Friday and decided instead to finish it up today. and it wasn't at all because i was tired, hungover, sometimes drunk and reading the last Harry Potter book.

Screw Harry Potter, it's SJ's day!

You know those friendships that are really for convenience– either you grew up together or your parents are friends? Or those friends that come out of having grown up in the same neighborhood or town, or from being forced to live together in college? How about those friendships that seem to linger on long after you’re really getting anything out of them?

On the flip side, have you ever met someone and said to yourself, “we’ll never be friends”? Were they perhaps wearing such a crazy-looking shirt (to a job interview, no less!) that you knew your styles were too different to get along? Did you ever start your friendship off with a night that had a haunted house, free food, two wardrobe changes and more men than you knew what to do with?

I have. As wacky as it sounds, that’s how I met the fun, fabulous SJ at work a couple of years ago. And how our friendship began.


Really, we look like our styles go together well. Either that, or we both figured black was a good party choice.

But friendships aren’t built on only one night of fun. We found we had a lot in common, including taking our jobs as reporters very, very seriously.


This is us taking our jobs so seriously, we stopped by the newsroom on Halloween. Yes, it was Halloween. If it was a normal night out for us, I would have been wearing a shorter skirt and SJ would have been showing a lot more cleavage... and that lollipop would have been a Cosmopolitan!

I think one of the secrets of our friendship has been a similar spirit of adventure and a willingness to try almost anything once, regardless of how goofy it makes us look. I mean, I’m really wracking my brain for examples, but I’d have to throw out wearing wacky hats to the grocery store to buy chocolate sauce and whipped cream as an example. Now, what was I saying about not being afraid to look silly?


I’m not actually sure who we’re supposed to be. I might be the Virgin Mary and SJ's Joseph? Or maybe some Greek figures. Who knows? We just liked the idea of poking our heads through the holes!

Our friendship over the last six or so years has been full of a lot of tears. Actually, I think most of the tears were the kind that start dripping down your face when you’re laughing too hard to stop. Although there was one time when we managed to make each other cry for most of a trip to the ocean. But even those were from talking about good memories. I still prefer the laughter to the tears.



One of the best things I got to do with SJ was marry her… um, I mean, be there while she got married. And I’m looking forward to having her there at my wedding. I’m planning on giving her a pretty good seat because, let’s face it, there wouldn’t be a Pretend Husband if it weren’t for her cooking abilities, which made us poor, single folks prefer to spend time at her house instead of another night in front of the TV eating Taco Bell. Oh, and the Setback games were pretty fun too.


This is one of my favorite photos. And just today I noticed SJ’s in it too!

So you might be wondering the reason behind this sappy post in honor of the girl with the best shoes, as SJ is known in these parts…


Even in a bridesmaid’s dress, she manages to sneak in some glittery shoes!

Well, there is a reason for toasting SJ today (this post wasn’t meant only to pick on a teenage wizard just trying to impress Hermione... oh, and save the world). Because, Lordy, Lordy, SJ’s 30!!!

Happy Birthday, mon amie! I plan on sticking around for at least 30 more years (we’ll be the old ladies sitting on the front porch of the nursing home with tiaras on!) and my wish for you is that they are filled with love, laughter, tears from laughing so hard, more laughter and fabulous shoes! As your husband often tells you, you don't look a day over 35!


Happy Birthday, SJ!!!