Breaking up is hard to do (or: Let me go, AT&T, you're causing a scene...)

Forget the reputation used car salesmen have; it's the AT&T salesmen you have to look out for. The Pretend Husband and I bought iPhones in June and, while I LOVE my phone and all it's spectacular features (it delivers my email, keeps my calendar, has tons of games, strokes my hair at night when I'm having trouble sleeping...) the sole company that provides service for it sucks.

I'm at my wit's end after six months of fighting with this stupid company. The PH was on the phone with its customer service people for over an hour last night and very little has been accomplished. Basically, we were promised a bunch of discounts and special plans and a monthly charge that would have been only slightly higher than what we were paying for our still-in-the-dark-ages-doesn't-access-the-Internet phones from another provider when we bought the phones and switched our service. And after six months of various store managers and customer service reps crediting our account and promising us the discount would surely kick in on the very next bill, we were told last night we don't actually qualify for that discount. And, oh sorry, I'm sure it's frustrating but there's nothing we can do except give you the discount for a few more months to shut you up and then make sure you spend the rest of your contract spending twice what you did with your previous provider.

The PH then tried to break up with AT&T, telling them they were not honest with us about the terms of our contract and the fees we would be charged, but they are trying to get us to cough up more than $400 for the privilege. Why won't you let us go, AT&T? It's not you, it's me. I've changed and I realize I need to look out for my own needs. I'm sure you'll find someone (to sucker into an expensive cell phone plan).

I hate to badmouth a company, especially one that I realize has had to downsize recently and has probably lost a lot of good employees (apparently, the ones who actually knew what was going on and how to help their customers...) But I figured it's my duty. It's like if I saw you walking down the street with my ex-boyfriend who was a real jerk and I pulled you into the women's room to warn you about him.

So, you can date AT&T if you want to. But you should know that when I began my relationship with them, they made all sorts of promises. We were happy for awhile but then I got sick of AT&T not being there for me when I needed them (to apply the discount they promised). After many late-night phone calls and tears from me, I've decided it's time to end our relationship. No, AT&T, don't make this harder than it needs to be. Don't worry about bringing me a box of the things I left at your house and I won't worry about paying the ridiculous fees you're asking for.

And I would say we could still be friends, but I don't think that's going to go over too well with the new love in my life-- Verizon.