Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Because a true friend turns the attention on herself when you're having medical issues...

My best friend in high school, "Bertha," was put on modified bed rest this weekend, meaning she can't leave her house for the next two weeks and can only get up from the couch to use the bathroom or sit at the dinner table, but no cooking or setting up the nursery or being on her feet. She has 10 weeks left in her pregnancy and is hoping the bed rest will not be continued through all of them since she has a lot of work left to do to prepare for this baby.

While I was on the phone with her yesterday hearing about her predicament, I tried to come up with some things she could do from the couch. I suggested she have her husband wash all of the new baby clothes and then bring her the basket so she can fold them on the couch. Then I asked her to watch "Oprah" for me today and be ready to summarize it when I call (I also vowed to call a lot more now that I have a captive audience. She can't avoid my calls now!)

Last night, I came up with a few more ideas, so I emailed her to suggest she read through the entire archive of this blog and send me an email detailing how funny she thinks I am. And, if that task gets done fast enough, how about I send her some beads and she can spend some time making crafts that I can then sell as my own? I'm still coming up with some more ideas for her and am open to suggestions.

But, please, let's make sure they benefit me in some way. Because although this concerns Bertha and whatever precautions need to be taken to keep her son healthy and safe, I've managed to make it all about me. That takes talent.


sj said...


Oh, please ask her to catch me up on the last 10 years of General Hospital. But the chimp victim is on Oprah today, so I'm way into that one.

Can I horn in on your action? I'd also like to know how many times I've overshared intimate details about the number of times I've referenced my bra or underwear.

Also, please introduce her to the game "Bricks Breaking" on Facebook. She can thank me later when she's strung out and seeing blocks in her sleep.

Soda and Candy said...

Bertha = Birther?

She could make a pie chart about the contents of your blog.

Mmm, pie.

Anonymous said...

Note to self, don't ever get a chimp as a pet! At least I can check one thing off your list KAT - thanks to all for your ideas. I'm afraid on-line shopping might be my new #1 priority. -Bertha

Andy said...

She could knit something. Or read all the trashy gossip magazines and predict what they'll say next week. Or vote in my Christmas poll. Or do advanced research on preschools.