Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Should I be worried that the PH turns down a little fun with me for a salami sandwich?

The Pretend Husband's obsession with meat continues... At Thanksgiving, it was turkey. Apparently, at Christmas, it's ham. The PH called me at work today all excited because he had stopped at the grocery store and discovered hams were on sale-- apparently, they normally sell for something like $30 for a nine-pounder (you can do the math...) but were on sale for $1.29 a pound. So he bought four (I should have never gotten the chest freezer running for him-- I've created a meat-loving monster).

But it was the conversation with him after his big purchase that was the best part. The 18-year-old cashier kept asking him questions about his plans for the hams, probably because people rarely buy that many. And the PH started getting uncomfortable, not because of his freaky meat-buying habit, but because he was convinced the girl wanted him. The cashier asked if the hams were for Christmas and then asked what the PH planned to do with them when he replied no. He answered, "Oh, you know, storing it for the families. I just like ham."

On the phone, the PH described for me how she just kept talking to him.

PH: "I think she thought I was flirting with her, but I was being serious. When she kept on asking me questions about hosting dinner, I had to tell her I was married. It was just way too obvious."

Me: "What was too obvious? Her flirting?"

PH: "Oh yeah, all we did was talk about meat the whole time and how much meat I was purchasing... because apparently nobody comes in and purchases three or four hams at a time."

Back off ladies, that meat-loving, socially-awkward man over there is mine, all mine!


SouthernBelle said...

Uh-oh, that bitch is after his meat!!! You better carve her up!

; )

sj said...

HA! i can picture this entire thing. so fantastic.