Tuesday, December 02, 2008

How much is that doggy... in the cardboard box... out by the road... at 5 o'clock in the morning?

ETA: SJ and I both skipped yesterday then posted at around the same time (apparently, she's a faster typer than I am because she got her-- *cough*photo-heavy*cough*-- post up first). But make sure you scroll down for part deux of Two For One Tuesday.

Man, that bee-yotch karma must be PMSing something bad because she did not stop at the "Look at me, only sick three times from drinking" fiasco. Oh no! She came back at us full force this week (but not with puking from drinking-- I try to limit myself to only a couple of shots on Monday nights).

Oh no, karma took a whole new tact that began with friends telling us about their year-old dog and how terrible she is. She eats poop, she catches and tries to eat animals like chipmunks and toads, she has peed in their dining room so often the floor is warped. And I was like, "Ohhh, that's too bad" to their faces but all like, "Sucks to be you bitches! Casey is a year-old too and she's just perfect! Perfect! P-E-R-F-E-C-T! Perrrrrfect!" (Why yes, I do sound a little like a cheerleader in my head, why do you ask?)

Casey, who is a generally a laid back dog (except for when she tries to bite Molly's face off, but details, schmetails...) decided a couple of nights ago to be a pain in the ass. It was a short-lived run for her, with some barking and whining after we went to bed and left the dogs downstairs. Well, the next night, karma must have been egging her on because she spent more than an hour barking, whining and clawing at the door when we first went to bed. Yelling at her didn't help, swatting her butt didn't help and even threatening to never let her have her friends over for sleep overs didn't help (I know, shocking, right?)

She finally settled down and we all fell asleep... until 5 o'clock in the morning, when she resumed her reign of terror on the house. We lay awake listening to her for over an hour before I went downstairs and tried to up the level of my threats ("that's it, no rawhide for two weeks... and I will be putting the trash can out of your reach, young lady... and don't even think about asking for a belly rub!") I may have also prayed for Molly to bitch-slap her into submission because I'm sure our little angel Molly (relatively speaking) wasn't happy with being awake that early either.

The long and the short of it is, we were pretty much up for the day at 5 a.m. And you'd think this would have been a good lesson in having some compassion for others and not tempting fate, but actually all it's taught me is how to put up an ad on Craig's List to sell a dog (OK, not really, but Casey may not be so lucky if she does it again tonight... Mama needs her beauty rest).


SouthernBelle said...

I need a "Sucks to be you bitches!" t-shirt, stat.

I feel you on the naughty dogs. Our dogs sleep on the bed with us and Busta makes this sound if you try to move him, it is halfway between a growl and the sound Jon Stewart makes when he is impersonating Dick Cheney. Sort of a *rehh!* sound

sj said...

sb - please make yourself one, and make one for both of us.

my dog is a terror when it comes to being a watch dog. he has a serious jeckyll and hyde thing. when it's just me, he's the sweetest "floppy puppy." but when he's around strangers, good lord. you'd think we never feed him/pet him/pay him any attention.

but still. i love my dog.

sj said...

photo heavy???

are you calling my blog entry fat?

ps. will call you in the morning with peanut butter frosting recipe for beth.