Friday, November 28, 2008

That sound you heard was karma kicking me in the ass...

On Tuesday, I gave you the cute little factoid that I have only thrown up from drinking three times in my life. Only three. And-- ha, ha-- it just so happens they all have cute little stories attached.

On Wednesday, I puked after drinking... and for the first time, there is no funny story. Bleah.

Before I go any further, I need to say to SJ (my martini partner in crime) that "I was buzzed, not drunk." We got into an argument after dragging our husbands to a restaurant (so we'd have designated drivers) and downing three martinis each about who was more drunk. I still contend that I was only buzzed while SJ was surely drunk (as evidenced by her trying to perform the field sobriety test in the parking lot-- and I couldn't have been drunk because I was the one giving it to her!)

So, if I wasn't drunk, how did I end up vomiting? Well, the Pretend Husband got us home safely and decided to have a drink with me (his first, my fourth for those of you playing along at home). Then, the phone rang and two of my high school friends told us they would come pick us up if we wanted to go to the one bar in town. Where I kept drinking (add two Citron & 7Ups to the tally board, please).

I honestly didn't feel at all ill... until I threw up (in the toilet) (and on the insides of my elbows-- I'm still not sure how I managed that). And, unfortunately, no funny story this time (unless you count the laughing SJ is doing right now because she thinks she was right about me being drunk).


SouthernBelle said...

awww, much sympathy.

You should do what I do after events like this: spend the day on the couch moaning that you've been poisoned and swearing never to drink again.

FunnyGal KAT said...

Good advice, SouthernBelle, but actually I felt great. The PH woke up with a raging headache, but I was good to go because I had gotten all of the alcohol out of my system the night before. I'm still trying to figure out why I got sick-- all those drinks were spread out over five hours and it's not like I was wasted. Perhaps SJ poisoned me out of spite?

sj said...


sorry. i didn't mean to laugh. but it's true that *my* martinis were all alcohol - no silly juices.

i was up at 8:30 on thanksgiving making chocolate covered cherries and onion-cranberry compote.

and i didn't drink a thing on thanksgiving, which i think gave my mother in law false hope.

Andy said...

I appreciate your honesty. I think if I had just proudly stated I had only thrown up three times from drinking, and then did exactly that, I might be more inclined to either lie or make up some grandiose story involving Mexican immigrants and a ride on a pontoon boat.

scargosun said...

I am so sorry but that is too funny. I am a big ole barfer when it comes to drinking (even when it's not a ton) and I would have been exactly in your shoes had I drank like that.

Sam_I_am said...

I think I've only ever thrown up twice. The first time was my 23 birthday and I mixed tons of stuff. Ergo, it came back. The second time was New Years Eve and I ate hot dogs and sauerkraut and Fiance said I couldn't drink the whole bottle of peach schnapps. I did and then my hot dogs and sauerkraut made me sick. So, maybe you ate something that disagreed with you. ;-)

hautepocket said...

Don't listen to Andy. He's probably drunk right now.

Annnnnd I have zero basis for saying that.

VisH said...

oooooohhhhhhhhh my god u r soo jolly girl...ha ha ha i reallly ilke ur blog....plz come at my blog and say about me and my blog....i hope u like it??

SouthernBelle said...

So what is up in Funny Gal land?
Y'all too busy drinking to blog?

PS - Part of my new post is dedicated to you and Andy

; )