Since when does "cheap crap" not include balloons and party hats?

We had a surprise dinner for my dad's birthday the other night (at the Chinese buffet... because we're classy like that). When we got to the restaurant, I was lamenting the fact that I hadn't had time to pick up some party hats and balloons for our little group (because the only thing classier than celebrating a birthday at the Chinese buffet is looking like an idiot while you do it). My little brother (who is actually more than six-and-a-half feet tall) offered to run into the discount place next door and buy hats.

Lil' bro comes running in a few minutes later without hats or balloons and starts to bitch about what happened.

"So, I walk into the store and there's color everywhere! And of course nothing is organized, so I walk up to the woman at the front and say, 'Do you have party hats?' and she looks at me like I just asked the most inappropriate question ever and says, 'Party hats?' I say, 'Yes, hats you would wear for a party?' and she says, with the biggest attitude, 'If you want party hats, you're going to have to go to one of those party stores.'" (Oh yes, because apparently a party store is the only kind of place that would carry party supplies... because you can't find that stuff in a Wal-Mart or a Target or almost any other discount store, oh no)

So lil' bro goes running through the store ("I covered that place in about 45 seconds.") but, to his chagrin, "There was nothing, not even a tiara I could make Dad wear."

We are still wondering how the discount place doesn't carry party supplies, but as one of our friends pointed out, "How much can you discount a 39-cent balloon?" So, Dad didn't get a ridiculous hat to wear for his birthday, but the Chinese buffet staff made up for it by playing a version of Happy Birthday on the restaurant sound system that sounded like it was being sung by a Mexican Mariachi band. And if that doesn't say, "Dad, we love you and hope this was the best birthday yet," I don't know what does.