Monday, July 21, 2008

C'mon in and make yourself comfortable, SJ... you're going to be here for awhile

Hi SJ, welcome to 31! I got here a few months ago myself, so I’m happy to show you around. Over here is the coffee station—no, don’t protest too quickly now. You might not think you’re going to need it, but it gets harder and harder to get yourself going at our age and someday you might need it just to figure out how to start your car in the morning (uh, or so I’ve heard). And right next to the coffee are plenty of comfortable beds because believe me when I tell you that you’re going to need your sleep to deal with what the thirties have in store for you!

Now, you may have noticed on your way in that 31 is separated from the twenties—it’s a long walk, isn’t it? It’s appropriate, I think, because 31 is pretty removed from, say, 26. You’re now firmly in your thirties, not just teetering somewhere in between at 30.

I’m not going to say you can never go back because every once in a while you might be in the mood for a crazy night out with the girls or some harmless flirting with a cute guy in the elevator or some outfit or hairdo not appropriate for the thirties. In that case, just slip through that door marked “Your Youth” or the one with the sign that says “The Good Ol’ Days (Didn’t Know You Were Old Enough To Have Them, Did You?)” But know that your time over there in the twenties is limited and eventually you must return to 31.

It’s not so bad. Sometimes it gets a little loud in here—what with all the popping of the joints, the moaning in pain when someone pulls a muscle and that annoying tick of the biological clocks. But, overall, 31 is not a bad place to be (at least it’s much quieter than 36, where they have all those noisy kids running around!)

Some other changes you may notice are a few more “laugh lines” (translation: “wrinkles”) and some “slow metabolism” (translation: “Fatty McTooMuchCake”). Oh, and the extra gray hairs (face it, there’s no nice euphemism to use for that one!)

I hope I haven’t scared you too much and you’re willing to stay here with me at 31. There’s fun to be had. For one thing, I finally feel like a grown-up here and sometimes—just sometimes—I get a little more respect than I did at 25. My opinions seem to count much more here, like having gone through 21, 24, 29 and 30 gave me some experience or something.

And, if it begins to weigh on you that you’ve made it this far, feel free to stare over there at that 32 in the corner and smile, knowing that I’ll be headed there first.

Happy Birthday, SJ!


Srg said...

Happy Birthday SJ!!!

Just do me a favor and save me a spot over in "31-land", ok? By the time I get there next week, I'll need you to show me around cause I've been in I-don't-feel-30-therefore-I'm-not denial for the past year!

Molly said...

Oh how I long for 31. You are so lucky, treasure it for you will be 39 like me soon! And then I will be 47 which is even more depressing!

jal12771 said...

Happy Bday SJ! Welcome to the 30's!
Of course I am at the high end of the 'mountain' but I am glad KAT let me know about that 'door' to 'slip out' for a little while.
Of course with E... I can always act like a kid!

Meg said...

Happy birthday, S!

I came over by way of Molly! She said you guys lived near me and would take my martini virginity away! Haha!

sj said...

thank you, kat, for the welcome wagon. ironically, i've been staying up later at 31 than i did at 28. hmmm... maybe the 30s will be my decade!

as to gray hairs... HA!

that would imply that i haven't been dying my hair every shade under the Revlon counter for the past 13 years.

as to the laugh lines, well, to quote my favorite dar williams' song: "i won't mind the wrinkles because i know how they got there."

(i have, however, switched my cleansers over to the anti-aging variety and have started using primer in the morning.. but i haven't gotten around yet to all of the crap you're supposed to do to yourself to preserve your youth.. i figure my 20s were grand and all, but i'm not afraid of who i'm turning into, despite my obvious mental lapses from time to time.)