With stories like this, kat's lil sis should start her own blog...

I lived in an apartment a few years ago that had a Polish couple living above it (their nationality isn’t important except for the fact that they fought a lot– loudly– and while I had to listen to their fights, I didn’t even get the gossipy goodness of knowing what they were about). Anyway, the guy worked the midnight shift and the woman would wait for his phone call around midnight (at least this is what I deduced from years of living below them without understanding a word they said). Then she would clean for hours afterward.

I was woken up by vacuuming right above my head at 1 a.m. I listened to her wash dishes and do other things that required hours of walking around her apartment (I once mentioned the early morning vacuuming to the super, who was kind of incredulous because he said they had a tiny apartment with stuff everywhere so he wasn’t sure what space they would even have to vacuum). When she wasn’t alone cleaning, they were together fighting or– on two separate occasions– allowing their toilet to overflow long enough that it seeped into my living room. Good times.

We have friends who live in a very nice neighborhood with huge, newly-built homes. But they seem to have lost the neighbor lottery. They live next door to a family with a bunch of young kids who are usually running around half-dressed, dirty and completely unsupervised. My friends arrived at their house, which was only a cement foundation at the time, to find the 2-year-old half-naked and playing alone, walking along the edge of the foundation (which had a 20-foot drop to a concrete floor on one side!) and generally amusing herself among the nails and other construction stuff. The friends were also witness to the kids having a bonfire in their backyard with minimal supervision by Dad (they watched the 2-year-old walk right up to the fire and throw various objects in without Dad batting an eye).

The bad neighbor stories came to mind this week when I got another call from kat’s lil sis that began with, “I have a funny story for the blog.” She and kat’s lil brother-in-law live next door to an odd couple that rarely said hello and who kept their children hidden from view (lil sis said she didn’t know they even had kids for the longest time). Anyway, kat’s lil bil saw a “For Sale” sign in front of the house one day and the husband packing things up. He tried to chat with the guy, but he would only give one-word answers.

Well, kat’s lil sis was walking through the neighborhood a few days later and saw the family’s vehicles at another house in the same neighborhood. A few days after that, lil sis and lil bil were walking their dogs when the family’s van came up the street and quickly turned into a (dead end) side street to avoid going by them. A few moments later, the van came back and turned away from them and took off.

Lil sis and lil bil recognized their former neighbor at the wheel and realized that she didn’t want them to know she still lives in the neighborhood. Well, they continued walking and after they had returned to their own street, lil sis turned around and watched the van drive by again, this time going to the street where the former neighbors live. They think the woman parked on a street a block over and waited for them to go down a side street before coming back to again avoid having to pass them.

This has left lil sis and lil bil a little paranoid about why the neighbors seem to be avoiding them at all costs. And, because she is my sister and has the family’s wicked sense of humor, it has also left lil sis scheming about ways to mess with these people. Ideas include lil bro asking the husband tons of questions about where they moved to, etc. (they work for the same company) and leaving a note in the new mailbox that says, “I know where you live” (OK, that one’s a little creepy). My idea was to leave an invitation addressed to them to a BBQ at lil sis and lil bil’s. That way, it’s not illegal or anything, but lets those weirdos know they aren’t getting away with anything. Either that, or put their own house up for sale and move next door to the former neighbors’ new house. Any other ideas?