I’m hot, blah, blah, I know it, you know it… next subject.

Since you’re probably well over hearing how I’m so attractive that both sexes feel compelled to hit on me every chance they get, I thought I’ll talk about something completely different this time. Instead, I’m here to announce that the future is here (climactic music, please).

To explain, the Pretend Husband and I started what we called “The Future Fund” waaaay back before we bought our money pit house. We put money in the account religiously (to the point where I haven’t bought a new pair of shoes in like, 17 years) and– amazing how this happens!– the balance began to grow. I think this was about the same time I became an adult and realized that not spending money on things like shoes (did I mention how long it’s been since I bought a new pair?), clothes, cute curtains and boozy nights out, meant I had more money to save. Crazy, isn’t it?

So the Future Fund has been steadily growing, with a couple of withdrawals here and there (including the one I experienced when I realized I hadn’t bought new shoes in a year!) for expenses like oh, a new house. But a new house requires surprisingly less money to buy than you would think (I think I may have signed something saying I would birth the mortgage broker’s children, but at least I didn’t have to put much money down!) so the Future Fund has stayed pretty fat and healthy.

Until Friday (ominous music, please). When we bought the money sucker house, our inspector told us we would need to upgrade the electrical system from the hamster running in the wheel that currently powers everything. We will need to get a real, live fuse box, but this time without actual fuses (what do you call the new version, a “flippy-switch box” perhaps?) And I guess we’ll throw in things like new and improved wiring that is less likely to catch fire in our walls and stuff that will actually be able to handle our power usage (I’m just now realizing there are some people in the world who are able to run their washer and their stove at the same time!)

Anyway, I just learned that this kind of upgrade doesn’t come cheap. So the Future Fund is going to resemble the change found under the couch cushions more than an actual bank account. If we’re lucky, we might have enough left over to get married.

In the meantime, get running Hammie, I’ve got laundry to do!