Thursday, March 30, 2006

One hundred posts, thousands of laughs...

We did it! This is our centennial… um, centurion… it’s our 100th post! And we couldn’t have done it without our four faithful readers (it would look pretty dumb if SJ posted and KAT commented, then KAT posted and only SJ commented, wouldn’t it?) So, here is a really, really long list of our favorite posts and our favorite comments. Yes, it’s a long list, but it just goes to show what Funny Gals we are. And you readers are pretty funny yourselves! So, thanks for reading about our lives and keep those comments coming. Happy 100th! –SJ and KAT

KAT’s Top Five Favorite Posts:
From “Clearly I’m already IN the circus”
So it makes me wonder. is there some secret coffee maker that I don’t know about? is he confusing this for his coffee maker at home? if so, what on earth are my coworkers doing at his house?

From “Domestic Bliss… or at least Domestic Satisfaction”
(About SJ’s dog, Bailey) He’s cute, no doubt, but his year on earth has ceased to calm him in any ways detectable by the human eye. Although he’s mastered “sit,” “paw” and “lie down” (and can be commanded using only sign language, no less) he has yet to learn what “Go away while Aunt Busty watches her stories” means. Despite the yelling (by me) and scratching (by him) and the drooling (him and sometimes his Uncle Chris), he’s a fun dog to have around.

From “Get over yourself, Scotty”
Scotty, a guy I’ve also known since third grade and had a crush on for about 10 minutes in fourth grade, is now bald and spreading frighteningly around the middle. Unfortunately, I think he never got over the fact that I had a crush on him briefly and I think he thinks I harbor romantic inklings towards him. To which I say, get over yourself Scotty. I’m happily married and my husband has all of his hair and could bench press you all the while discussing the finer points of early Roman civilization and culture.

From “Here’s hoping ‘crazy’ skipped a generation!”
I cannot believe what I am about to write, but my dad informed us this morning that he purchased a cannon. That's right, if enemy forces invade my small Connecticut hometown, my dad will be leading the defensive charge.

From “weekend warriors”
Also, let me just say one more thing about my weekend: my parents seem to have an uncanny ability to stop by for an unannounced visit in such a manner that would preclude another grandchild.

SJ’s Top Five Favorite Picks:
First things first, KAT stole a few of my faves. But I let her pick first, so it’s only fair that I’m able to use my favorite picks to call attention to a few more oldies but goodies.

From “I want to run away with the circus. Or the cirque. Whichever.”
Unless of course I learn to play the accordian, which French music has fully embraced. My take? There's simply not enough squeezable instruments in today's pop culture.

From “Nothing to Laugh At”
Last week, we were talking about someone who committed suicide. While that is obviously not a laughing matter in itself, I couldn't keep a straight face during the following exchange:
Woman: “How did he kill himself?”
Man (dropping his voice into a very serious tone): “I heard it was suicide.”

From “Why I’m Glad I’m Not Katie Holmes…”
As someone who tears up when squeezing particularly painful zits, I don’t think there’s a chance in hell I’m going to be able to shoot an object bigger than a bowling ball out of my nether regions without sharing a couple of thoughts about the experience with those around me.

From “Spared by Buckets of Rain Only to be Sunk by Buckets of Rain”
My dad, in true Dad fashion, thought that along with the hose, we should also take some Naval Jelly (of which he has 10 containers) -- you know, to clean the stern of our... uh... house, some dry gas, and some fuel injector cleaner (I guess in case our house goes under water and we need to make a fast get away?). And a video camera. Because, you know... somewhere in all of that, there are some serious America's Funniest Home Video moments to be had.

From “Going Bald”
I won’t go into minute detail about this, but it involved discussing a very private part of my anatomy with a complete stranger. Actually, she wasn’t a complete stranger because she’s also my manicurist (a multi-talented manicurist, apparently). It also involved one of us taking our pants off, but I’ll leave the rest to your imagination (if the number of males reading our blog doesn’t go up after this, I’m out of ideas!)
To illustrate what it was like, I will tell you what the conversation with MM was after I left the place.
Me: “Oh my god! Don’t do it!”
MM: “Is it that bad?”
Me: “Oh my god! Don’t do it!”
MM: “Are you OK?”
Me: “Oh my god! Don’t do it!”

KAT’s Top Five Favorite Comments:
(OK, OK, there ARE seven… I had trouble deciding which five were my favorite because you’re all such funny people!)

From “Why I’m Glad I’m Not Katie Holmes…”
Ronnie Francis said...
The girl is brainwashed. Tom Cruise can NEVER be my wingman. It's obvious he never got over Goose's death because he's a total nut-job. Someone needs to tell him that it was just a movie and Anthony Edwards is OK... he's just ignoring him.

From “And the award goes to…”
KAT said...
Wow, I didn't realize people were still trying to pull the "it's not real alcohol" trick anymore. Do they even sell "fake alcohol"? (especially in real bottles?!?) You earned that burning sensation, my friend!

From “My uterus has a few years before it shrivels up…”
sj said...
but i would never have considered having a baby with someone other than my husband. i mean. wait. that didn't sound right. i meant- having a baby on my own - i could never do it. i'm just not cut out for it.

From “How I learned snow tubing is not for me”
Anonymous said...
I think I will stick to tubing behind the boat- you can’t bang your head on anything other than a fish maybe...

From “Remaining resolute”
PuceMole said...
Congratulations on the very real boyfriend. Most excellent choice!
Side note 1: am I the only one to find it amusing that the "voice of reason" is also the guy who has a cannon in his front yard?
Side note 2: my resolution is discover my secret power. I think it's invisibility, but I'm not sure. I only notice it when it's dark or I'm at a bar.

From “Stir crazy”
stac said...
Yeah - I've tried the "substitution baking" technique and it never works. The worst was the time I substituted molasses for corn syrup (hey, they're both syrup-y and sweet, so I figured what the heck?) Those ended up being the hardest muffins I've ever made. Jonathan accidently dropped one and it sounded like a rock fell off the counter.

From “Life’s Little Amusements…”
sj said...
i didn't bust out the cleavage until we were losing at setback.

And SJ’s favorite all-time comments
(I’m not a numbers person, I’m a words person…)

From: “In the Beginning”
Zam said...
Sorry, I was looking for "furnygals." Could somebody please direct me to the Web site with lurid pictures of women posed with 7-piece dinette sets, two piece-hutches, and ottomans? Or is that ottomen? Or ottowomen? Anyway, I've got my furniture polish and I'm ready to go.

From “who *are* these people?”
Ronnie Francis said...
I have no idea who Cliff is either!!! OMG!!! Then again, I never went to ESPN High, so I have a mighty good excuse for my memory lapse.
I'll tell you what I did to prepare for my 10 year re-union... I ignored it. I was too busy shopping online at Banana Republic or something. Yeah.

From “Rock the Vote”
Aunt J said...
Well, I still like black nylons--in the right context anyway. And I wouldn't turn down a nice warm pair of black tights on a cold New England day, but don't generally wear them anymore with skirts, dresses, etc. (They remind me of my beatnik days back in grade school, although I was known to wear yellow tights then as well.) I've always loved black as far as clothing goes. But I've also never been a "fashion plate" as they used to call it. Always felt like doing my own thing (that stems from my hippie days). Have I dated myself sufficiently now?
Have you tried Googling "black stockings"? Nasty business, really... Although you do find indication of others struggling with the same dilemma.
And for a whole fresh outlook on the topic, go to:
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

From “Here’s Hoping Crazy Skipped a Generation”
little sis said...
So.... the cannon saga continues. Once I became aware of Dad's latest eBay purchase, I called him to ask him if he was out of his mind. He agreed with me that perhaps he hadn't fully thought through the logistics of how he is going to get a 500+ pound cannon into the back of A's truck. Yet, to my surprise, in the next breath Dad is contemplating his next purchase. "You know, E, I might just get a second cannon." "What?!?" "Yeah, I could put cannons all over the yard." If the neighbors thought he was crazy before, just wait until they look out their windows and see an ever-growing collection of life-size cannons lining his perimeter.
And the scary part is, Dad is actually planning on firing the cannon. Here I am, picturing cannon balls flying through our neighbor's walls, but Dad assured me, that "I won't fire anything out of it; I'll just blow it up (using gunpowder)." And he'll only do that when he has visitors. Because you know, as Dad says, "How many people have a real cannon in their front yard?" I don't know, Dad, probably just you.

From “Welcome to the Jungle”
PuceMole said...
I hadn't been that close to an actual live mating ritual in some time. I felt like I was in one of those drive-thru safaris. I swear I heard an Australian accent whisper, "Crikey! Isn't she gorgeous? Look at the, um... eyes... on 'er"
My nomination for Funny Gals' Line of the Year: "Before she could react to the penetration of her herd." Nicely done. *tips cap*

From “The best compliment ever…”
Ronnie Francis said...
You had me at hello...
(This is mostly funny if you know Ronnie Francis and his acerbic wit.)

From “"She’s proud and he’s prejudice, but really, you’d think it be the other way around."
stac said...
My favorite quote from Pride and Prejudice was when Lizzy and her aunt and uncle were touring Pemberley for the first time and she looks out over the pond and says "And of all this, I might have been mistress." And this followed by the Mr Darcy swimming in the pond and wet shirt scene...yummm. Yup, another Colin Firth addict here.
Mad, mad props to Stacey for quoting P&P – the BBC version.


PuceMole said...

You chose two of my comments? You like me, you really like me!

You funny gals are pretty okay, too.

stac said...

I feel so honored to have my comments in your top ten or five or whatever post!