Friday, February 03, 2006

I have an entire month to commit a felony.

okay- first off, I'm not going to commit a crime. Let me just say that right off the bat. I was being facetious.

But, I did get a summons for jury duty. Now, I did see that episode of 7th Heaven (which was one of two episodes I've ever seen, for the record), but I didn't walk away from the uberschmaltz feeling that I must perform my patriotic duty.

Because let's face it. 7th Heaven does not take place in New Britain. Yeah. Exactly. So I told my boss about my summons, and he laughed at me (well, over email). It's not that it is going to intrude on my all important life. It's more that I'm deathly afraid of getting on a jury for a gang-related shooting and fear retaliation.

I'm sure the chances of this are small. But I have watched entirely too much television in my life to think that it can't happen.

The first thing I did was scroll down the list of excuses, but I'm not over 70 or the lieutenant governor, or an alien (in the non-us citizen way).

I used to work with a womn who got a note from her doctor that said she suffered from "severe mental problems" so she wouldn't have to serve on a jury. Having worked with this woman, I can safely say her doctor wasn't wrong in writing such a note. (Seriously. And she thought I was odd for sorting my M&Ms by color. She once called my co-workers to tell them about her anal fissures.)


KAT said...

My motto is, if you're going to commit a felony, make it a good one. I suggest assault with a deadly weapon (but make it something weird, like a vase or a fork). Are you sure the jury form doesn't have a box to check for those who sort their M&Ms? I've seen people get out of jury duty with much saner excuses than that!

stac said...

Make sure to call the night before! You might get a message that they don't need you before the actual day. But if you are stuck going, feel free to use my excuse if they start questioning you. Tell them you're an engineer. Lawyers don't like engineers cause they're way too analytical. You'll get the boot for sure. Trust me, I've used that "get out of jury duty card" twice in the recent past! And since I have an official engineering degree, I hearby bestow an honorary engineering degree upon you to get you out of jury duty. :-)