“black Friday redux”

oh my gosh. the day is only half over and already, it’s a killer.

where do I begin? crank calling the cops (by accident)? barking bailey during a client call? the cops showing up at my door? the delicate dressing down by my boss who knows I’m sensitive enough to yell “I quit!” if I feel wronged?

so I work from home on Fridays, just so that’s clear. thank god. I don’t have it in me to drive 130 miles five day a week. four is quite enough for me. so I take my Fridays very seriously and rarely venture out even for lunch. when I have conference calls, I’m careful to tire bailey out and lock him up. I even have an extended line so I can take the phone upstairs if I need to.

that’s why this morning was such a disaster by astronomical proportions. so at 10:56 I call into my conference line. I sit and wait for a good 10 minutes before calling on my cell to find out where my coworker is. he answers his line. he’s on the call… but a different line. I hurriedly hang up and dial into the other line. they’re there.

I apologize for being late (6 minutes) and throw out lots of my brilliant ideas. things are going great until bailey goes NUTS 15 minutes later. I use the mute button. we eventually end the call, and I soothe bailey. as soon as I let him out, the doorbell rings. I meanwhile have called back the guy from work to apologize profusely. he shakes me off- it’s fine he says. as I open the door, I’m in shock. it’s a cop.

“ethan, I have to go. there’s a cop at my door.”

I open the door. I hesitate. he says nothing. I’m looking for the calendars or the friendly smile. nothing. there’s a pause.

frantic me while holding bailey back: “can I help you?”
officer: “… uh… did someone call 911?”
frantic me: ‘no! I mean- I’ve been on the phone. I didn’t’ call 911…. I’ve been on the land line… (gesturing to the phone behind the door)...”

the cop looks at me rather questioningly –

him: “isn’t this 585?”
me: “yeah. but. well yeah,.”
him: “is there anyone else here?”
me: “no. just me and my crazy dog…”

he eventually walks away.

as I discover later, I had accidentally dialed 9 -1- and then hung up, remembering I wasn’t at my office. I then wait with my finger on the hang up button to clear the line and then dial the conference line -- 1-866--. it goes through. I jump on the call and play catch up, not realizing I had dialed 911. so the cop apparently comes to my house, walks around my house, and bailey sees him, and goes nuts.

then he comes around and rings the doorbell and tragicomedy ensues.



and I haven’t even eaten lunch yet.