Thursday, December 01, 2005

My uterus has a few years before it shrivels up...

An older woman who I have a lot of respect for gave me some strange advice today. I was talking about turning 29 (it’s been a theme with me lately) and mentioned that I’m getting old. (To be fair and to show I’m keeping things in perspective, I’ll add that I also said it’s not so bad because I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot in those 29 years).
Anyway, she asked me if I want to have kids. I told her I do and she began to talk about getting married, having her kids and then getting divorced. She said a divorce is not fun, but it was worth it to be able to have her kids. Basically, she told me not to wait for the right guy, but to pick a decent person and have the kids I want. Obviously, I’m paraphrasing and her argument was a little more cohesive (and sort of made sense in some ways…) but she said a lot of women get to 40 and regret never having kids, which is not something they can change at that point.
I’m getting older, but I’m still young enough (or naïve enough?) to believe in love… I figure I can still hold out for it for a couple of years before having to take such a drastic measure. Little Miss Optimist here is not yet ready to throw in the towel (or have to pick it up for someone I don’t plan on spending the rest of my life with!)

4 comments:

sj said...

so what happens when it shrivels up anyway? is it like a uteraisin?

and what's the expiration date on your eggs? (this gives me a great idea for a tattoo...)

Anonymous said...

Giving yourself a deadline doesn't hurt though. I always told myself if I hadn't found Mr. Right by the time I was thirty I'd do it alone. I won't say I got desperate because I came as close as real girls get to Prince Charming. I will say it made me focused on a hard target search. I was pregnant two weeks after my 30th birthday, but I tremble to think what my life might have been like doing it by myself. And getting him the little brother would have been even harder.

Peace...

PuceMole said...

I respectfully disagree with your co-worker's advice. She's correct in that divorce is NOT fun, and when you have a child with someone you most likely have to deal with that someone for the rest of your child's life. I can attest to the fact that kids don't take it well when their parents split. Perhaps your co-worker was justifying her own situation, perhaps not. Regardless, this is a very personal decision with serious consequences. Just having a kid with a "nice guy" for the sake of having a kid seems like a bad idea.

And that's my $0.02.

sj said...

well now i feel trite, so i'll weigh in with my real thoughts.

for the longest time, i've said we'll have kids in five years. but now i'm also pushing 29 and it feels much more real to me -- the fact that i could be letting precious fertility tick away. i do want babies -- particularly after having such beautiful nephews-- but i haven't outgrown the fear, and i'm starting to think i never will. so now my deadline has moved up far enough where i've begun calculating due dates (how wrong is that?) to see when i would give birth depending on when we'd conceive.

but i would never have considered having a baby with someone other than my husband. i mean. wait. that didn't sound right. i meant- having a baby on my own - i could never do it. i'm just not cut out for it. although i believe that the human spirit is capable of rising to amazing feats.