Monday, September 19, 2005

The yin and yang of life...

I got some sad news today. The daughter of a former friend of mine committed suicide over the weekend. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t spoken to her dad in almost a year. I still have such sympathy for what he and his family must be going through.
About an hour after I heard about the death, my dad called to tell me my cousin had a baby boy yesterday. One more boy to take on the world. His parents are two incredible people so it will be exciting to see the person they raise together.
It was a day of mixed emotions, for sure. I was of course elated for baby Benjamin Franklin and his parents. But I walked around with a pit in my stomach for the decision made thousands of miles away by someone I’ve never met. The thought I kept coming back to was, “How could she give this up?”
This weekend was incredibly busy for me… I played soccer, I went dancing, I met some new people, I got woken up early, I played cards, I laughed until I couldn’t breathe, I talked to an old friend, I couldn’t fall asleep, I ran from a thunderstorm, I did some work, I cried, I finally got a good night’s sleep.
It wasn’t the best weekend I’ve ever had, but it wasn’t the worst either. But you know what? Regardless of how I sum up the past few days, whether I can look at an experience and label it as “good” or “bad,” the point is that I experienced it.
Life isn’t always easy and it’s not always fair. (Ask my former friend if you don’t believe me.) But it is what it is. Sometimes it’s beautiful, sometimes it’s hurtful and sometimes it’s somewhere in the middle. But we just get this one chance at it.
I mourn for the person who took away her chance to experience the good, the bad and the so-so. However, it's comforting to know that the world has a new little boy whose parents can’t wait for their chance to show it to him.

1 comment:

SJ said...

SJ to KAT: It's painful to think of someone who has given it all up - it makes you wonder why of course, but honestly, to ponder it only makes you feel that much more lost.

Suffice it to say - the world needs more laughter, more babies, and more friends. I got the first and last, but someone else is going to have to supply the babies.