The difference between men and women...

When I got into my car this morning, I smelled poop. After checking both FunnyKid and I (and not finding anything), and having my dad not smell anything when he got into the car a short time later, I figured it wasn't anything to worry about. Until about 20 minutes later, when I adjusted the heat and my dad started gagging. He thought the smell was more like a dead animal than poop and we theorized something crawled into the engine and died in one of the heater vents.

In a bit of a panic, I called the Pretend Husband to tell him about what happened and told him I would take the car to our mechanic on my way home from the store. That's when my dad and the PH both began mocking me, saying I could end up paying the mechanic for three hours worth of work if he had to take the dashboard apart to get to the animal. Their suggestion? Buy a couple of air fresheners to mask the smell until it goes away.

My suggestion? Paying whatever it takes so I don't have to ride around with the smell of a dead mouse in my car. But, alas, the guys won and I will be purchasing every vanilla air freshener in the store the next time I go out.

My, how a kid changes your priorities...

Last year at this time, I would have considered my biggest accomplishments to be meeting a deadline at work, avoiding too much traffic on my commute home and getting a decent meal on the table for dinner.

My latest big accomplishment is the fact that I finally fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. A small accomplishment, for sure, but you would never know it from the happy dances I've been doing ever since.

At least she tried...

I'm stealing this story from kat's lil sis because it's hilarious and deserves to be shared with the Internet. Her husband (kat's lil bro-in-law) met a 21-year-old waitress who is VERY.EXCITED.ABOUT.EVERYTHING. She's a talker who shares many, many, many details about her life with her customers.

It worked to her advantage in the case of lil bro-in-law because she shared that she was an experienced babysitter and dog sitter, both of which sis and bro-in-law were looking for after they had moved to the area. So they hired her one night to babysit their kids (the two-legged ones).

Lil sis was annoyed as they got into the car to go out because it seemed the babysitter was spending way more time talking about how drunk she was the night before than she did listening to instructions about the kids, their bedtimes, their routines, etc.

When they got home a few hours later, everything was calm and both kids were asleep so lil sis figured the babysitter couldn't be all that bad. And, in addition, she told them she had cleaned up the kitchen a little and put the dishes from the dishwasher away. Which was very nice of her... except for the fact that the dishes were dirty!

So, lil sis spent the last few minutes of her night going through her cabinets and taking the top few items off each pile, hoping to find all the dirty dishes and putting them back in the dishwasher.

Confusing the family tree

FunnyKid looks A LOT like his dad (the Pretend Husband) (who, just to confuse things further, is actually my real husband). So, anyway, FunnyKid looks like such a miniature version of the PH that I considered asking for a DNA test to make sure he was actually mine.

Which is why it was so strange when yesterday, in church, a woman asked the PH if he was the uncle and he said yes! I think some of the woman's confusion stemmed from the fact that kat's lil bro (i.e. FunnyKid's actual uncle) went to church with us and somehow ended up sitting between the PH and I. Where the PH's confusion came from is beyond me.

When I looked at him funny and said, "You're not the uncle, you're the dad," the woman replied, "Oh, *that's* why the baby looks so much like you!"

In the PH's defense, FunnyKid looks so much like him, he assumed the woman was joking about how they are related. But, still, I told him denying paternity of our son (especially in church, where everyone knows we are married!) is not funny.

After you...

I tried to hit some stores last week to return some items and see what kind of sales were going on, but didn't stay out after seeing the mob scene all the shopping areas were hosting. Figuring most people would be back to work this week, FunnyKid and I ventured out. And, for the most part, things were fine.

What was surprising, though, was the number of people who have no regard for the fact that I was maneuvering a baby in a stroller. I actually had people line up behind me to go in the same door rather than open the next door over for themselves. There were also one or two people who walked up to a door, went through it and kept going rather than stopping to hold it open for us.

But the worst was a 20-year-old girl who, despite the fact that I was backing out of the door and pulling the stroller after me, decided she HAD to use that door and not the perfectly good one right next to it. And apparently her business in the bookstore was urgent because she didn't want to wait for the stroller to get out of the door behind me and actually tried to slip between me and FunnyKid's stroller in order to get in.

Really?!? She was thwarted by the fact that I refused to let go of the stroller, but dashed inside as soon as the stroller cleared the doorway. Because it would have apparently been too much to ask for her to grab the door for me and FunnyKid to get through, and not at all inconvenient for the person trying to BACK OUT of the door WITH A STROLLER to hold it for another person.