I'm not sure how this is so confusing to you, but my maiden name is no longer my last name. Remember how we got married about two years ago? And I changed my last name? It shouldn't be that hard for you to remember. BECAUSE IT'S YOUR LAST NAME. That's right, exactly the same. Same spelling. Same pronunciation. Same name.
See, it's been two years since I made the change, which is why the receptionists get such a kick out of when you call and ask for me by my maiden name. And they laugh at you for doing it (and so do I). I've considered not taking your call unless you can get my name right, but that'd be mean.
And we also find it funny when you catch yourself. Say my maiden name was "Smith" and our last name is "Jones." They think it's hilarious when you ask to speak to "Kat Smi--- Jones." And you really have no excuse, because your name and mine? Are only one syllable apart. Just think of your own name (go ahead, I'll wait...) add one syllable and voila! That's who you should ask for.
I love you, hon, but I can't believe I just had to write all that. Maybe you'll finally know my name (our name!) by our third anniversary? Otherwise, I'm thinking of changing it back.
Love, your wife (you know, the one who shares your last name!)