Tuesday, January 27, 2009

As if I didn't feel old enough already...

The Pretend Husband woke up Saturday with a pain in his foot. Although he had been drinking with a friend the night before, he couldn't remember falling or kicking anything. The pain continued through the weekend with the PH rebuffing my attempts to get him to see a doctor. At one point, as he winced in pain, I asked him if it was worse than labor pains, but he said he couldn't determine that.

The pain got worse over the next three days until he couldn't stand it any longer and got an appointment with the doctor this morning. And the diagnosis? He has gout.

GOUT! As in, the disease usually only seen in old people or movies about life in the 1800s. I didn't even realize you could get gout anymore. I thought it had gone the way of the mumps or those Victorian-era vapors or something.

But he has it... and to save you a trip to WebMD, I'll tell you that it's a build-up of acid in the joints that causes extreme pain. And the kicker? (pun totally intended) It's actually described on the Internet as just as bad, if not worse than, labor pains (which the PH has mentioned so much I threatened to punch him in the head the next time I have to hear it...)

And the other thing? The pain is made worse by excessive alcohol intake and large amounts of protein. So the steak and beer the PH consumed on Sunday to take his mind off the pain may not have been such a good idea after all.

8 comments:

Andy said...

How did he get that? Did he make out with some Victorian broad in the backseat of a carriage?

Jeff said...

I had gout in my right wrist and hand last January. I would not wish that on anyone, ever.

Copious amounts of cocktail shrimp was my culprit.

Srg said...

My mom had gout a few years ago and I remember her saying that giving birth was nothing compared to the pain she was experiencing in her foot at the time. I think just about anyone (except maybe for kids) could be susceptible to it.

sj said...

a good friend of mine also suffers from gout, although he's a few years older than us...

they say cherries and celery are both very good natural food remedies for gout.

poor ph. i hope he's on the mend soon!

(and i'll be responding to your email shortly. really it will read something like: work, insane, work, more work, freelance work, work, ulcer, work)

me said...

Even before I finished reading your post I knew the alcohol would have made it hurt more, although I don't know why I know this because I don't know anyone with gout.

I feel sorry for PH and I hope he gets it sorted out, but until he has had something the size of a watermelon force its way out of his vagina, he is not allowed to compare the pain to child birth. If he can tell me exactly what "the ring of fire" feels like, I may allow him this, but until then, only mothers who gave birth vaginally can use that line.

Too graphic?!

TishTash said...

Bright side? Albeit a very small one? At least it's an out-of-the-ordinary ailment. That surely gets some street cred.

SouthernBelle said...

So he'll have to give up his nightly port & cigar in the library for a while.

Get him a new monocle, or a velvet waistcoat. That should cheer him up.

; )

PS - On a serious note, poor PH, that is horrible. It sounds much worse than tendonitis and that is bad enough, let me tell you. Perhaps they will give him some lovely painkillers like they did me though.

scargosun said...

That is terrible! Gout is really bad I understand. I know of a couple people who have it.