Friday, December 12, 2008

Maybe when I'm 40 he'll believe I've finally grown up...

I’m feeding two beagles while my dad and his fiancée are out of town (note to burglars: their house is not empty; it is filled with gun-toting men and Pit Bulls). Because my dad is my dad, he wrote out pages of instructions for me (note to Dad: I’m 32! I can handle this!)

 The instructions included notes on how to use the alarm system, how to use the garage door opener, what to do if the alarm goes off and which lights and doors to use while I’m there. (Strangely, it included no instructions on what food and vitamins to give the dogs… I had to just remember that stuff.)

On top of the novel filled with instructions, my dad walked me through the house to point out the alarm keypads, to talk about the times he’s accidentally set it off and to imitate it for me at the top of his lungs (“INTRUDER! INTRUDER! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!”) Oh, and he gave me the invaluable advice that if I ever pull up to the house and the alarm is going off, I should not go into the house (Uh, thanks Dad. Because I was going to pull my shotgun out from under the seat of my car and go teach those burglars a lesson?) After about an hour, I got a little antsy with the process agreeing to feed the dogs had turned into, so I started getting a little smartass.

Me: Dad, I might use your Jacuzzi while you’re gone.

Dad: Definitely. You and [the Pretend Husband] should come over and watch TV, eat whatever you want and you can even stay over if you want (note: he lives 5 miles from our house, but whatever…)

Me: Can we have friends over?

Dad: Well… you can have one friend come over.

Me: One? What if we want to have SJ and J over?

Dad’s Fiancée (catching on to what I’m doing): Yeah, what if it’s a married couple? Can they have a another couple over?

Dad: OK. You can have one couple come with you.

Me: But what if I want to have a few friends over?

Dad: No. Just two friends.

Me: Please? C’mon, Dad. If your parents go out of town, you’re supposed to have a party.

Dad: No. No parties.

(Yup, 32 years old and I own my own house... and I still have to be warned not to go after burglars and forbidden to have parties while my parents are out of town!)

6 comments:

SouthernBelle said...

LOL, that is gold. You will always be his little girl.

That reminds me of when my frail little granny, in her eighties, wanted to walk like ten blocks uphill during a blackout to make sure my aunt, her forty year old daughter, was okay.

Or when my mum came over to Husband's & my house and started cleaning up and throwing things away. I had to stop her because she accidentally nearly threw out all the cards we got at our wedding.

TishTash said...

Dad's are funny that way. Even though mine doesn't even live in this country anymore, precious long distance minutes are spent telling me to lock the door, make sure the stove is turned off, and to watch watch my purse when I head downtown.

Gee thanks, dad, but I'm a big girl. I cross the street on my own and everything.

SouthernBelle said...

Also, come play our game over at Tash's blog, Funny Gals (and everyone else)!

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm coming over.

Mommie Mayhem said...

So how many people did you have come over ?

ed said...

A片,A片,A片,A片,A片,A片情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品.情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,視訊聊天室,情趣,情趣用品,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣麻將,台灣彩卷,六合彩開獎號碼,運動彩卷,六合彩,遊戲,線上遊戲,cs online,搓麻將,矽谷麻將,明星三缺一, 橘子町,麻將大悶鍋,台客麻將,公博,game,,中華職棒,麗的線上小遊戲,國士無雙麻將,麻將館,賭博遊戲,威力彩,威力彩開獎號碼,龍龍運動網,史萊姆,史萊姆好玩遊戲,史萊姆第一個家,史萊姆好玩遊戲區,樂透彩開獎號碼,遊戲天堂,天堂,好玩遊戲,遊戲基地,無料遊戲王,好玩遊戲區,麻將遊戲,好玩遊戲區,小遊戲,電玩快打情趣用品,情趣,A片,AIO,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,寄情竹園小遊戲,色情遊戲,AIO交友愛情館,色情影片,情趣內衣,情趣睡衣,性感睡衣,情趣商品,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室 ,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園,080苗栗人聊天室,080聊天室,視訊交友網,視訊借錢,黃金,黃金回收,黃金價格,黃金買賣,當舖,中古車,二手車A片,A片,成人網站,成人影片,色情,情色網,情色,AV,AV女優,成人影城,成人,色情A片,日本AV,免費成人影片,成人影片,SEX,免費A片,A片下載,免費A片下載,做愛,情色A片,色情影片,H漫,A漫,18成人,情色電影,自拍,成人電影a片,色情影片,情色電影,a片,色情,情色網,情色,av,av女優,成人影城,成人,色情a片,日本av,免費成人影片,成人影片,情色a片,sex,免費a片,a片下載,免費a片下載,成人網站,做愛,自拍A片,A片,A片下載,做愛,成人電影,18成人,日本A片,情色小說,情色電影,成人影城,自拍,情色論壇,成人論壇,情色貼圖,情色,免費A片,成人,成人光碟18成人,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人影片,成人文章,成人小說,微風成人區,成人交友,成人文學,成人漫畫,成人遊戲,免費成人影片 ,成人論壇,愛情公寓,情色,色情網站,情色A片,色情小說,情色文學