Monday, November 17, 2008

Just call me Busty the mythbuster...

Myth #1: Husbands are insensitive jerks. I busted that one on our first wedding anniversary when the Pretend Husband presented me with both a funny and sensitive gift. Because the traditional first anniversary gift is paper, the PH went for a paper theme and filled the most hideous dollar store gift bag (that's the funny part, along with a dollar store thank you card as my anniversary card because the monkey on the front said I not only made his day, but his whole year...) with a huge pack of Post-It notes. But not only did he give me paper, he wrote on the first note of each stack, things like, "Happy Anniversary" and "Thank you for everything you do" and "I love you." Of course, the PH didn't realize how many Post-Its come in a pack and quickly ran out of things to say, so the notes toward the bottom of the bag said things like, "I love paper products" and "Molly smells. Love, Casey" and "Casey eats poop. Love, Molly," but still, it's the thought that counts, right?

Myth #2: Low rise tights are not an option. After SJ mentioned her frustration with finding anything but low-rise tights, I was curious. And, since the only tights I could find last night were low-rise, I decided to give them a shot. And here's the thing... I'm worried I've been wearing my tights too low all along (were they supposed to cover my boobs, too?) because the "low-rise" version? They sit at my waist, just like the regular version always did. Oh, and apologies to our one male reader, WildARS, for having to even think about this topic (and apologies to his girlfriend Capricorn because now he has the sexy image of me wearing tights up to my armpits in his head!)

Myth #3: Dark paint makes rooms appear smaller. As someone who just painted her bedroom navy blue, I can attest this one is not true. Because we just moved almost every piece of furniture we own into the room and I still have a huge gaping expanse to fill (wow, my bedroom sounds huge-- oh, did I forget to mention I actually grew up in a castle?). So, everyone is invited over Thursday for Jazzercise to put the extra space to good use (leg warmers are optional, but leotards are a must).

3 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

What about Bigfoot?

Andy said...

I appreciate the apologies, and I'll pass it on to Capricorn, who I will now ask to wear tights. Like, tonight.
Strange, though, that I only have like one straight, male reader on my site, too.

Sam_I_am said...

How bout we give PH Fiance's email address and he can give some pointers.... no? Tell him to write a book and I'll buy it and leave it in the bathroom.

Andy has experience with tights. If I look hard enough, I might actually have pictures of it somewhere...