Thursday, September 11, 2008

my beauty regimen

... well perhaps that's a misnomer. i don't actually have one. i mean. i do. i shower! and i use really awesome shampoo!

but other than that, my goal is to be out the door as soon as possible on any given day.

so i thought i'd be helpful and share with you some beauty tips that i have learned over the years. sure, there are those helpful tips like putting white toothpaste on a zit, or rinsing your hair with cold (as cold as you can stand) water -- but i don't have any of those.

instead, i'm giving you my tips.

1) use really good smelling shampoo that could almost smell like perfume. that way, you don't have to bother putting on perfume as well. my favorite: molton brown lilli-pilli. it's ridiculously expensive, but makes my hair perfectly shiny and smooth (as much as it can be, anyway), and it smells like a light, crisp perfume.

2) once you find one burts bees lip shimmer that you like (3.99 and smells like peppermint), buy at least 3. put one in your car, one in your purse, one in your office, one in the kitchen, etc. because inevitably, it will be IMPOSSIBLE to find that raisin one that's your favorite because it's everyone else's favorite too.

3) two words: dry shampoo. who has time to wash their hair every day, i ask you? and if you do have that kind of extra time, why waste it on your hair when you could be stopping at dunkin donuts to get iced coffee?

4) i do wear bare minerals. but rarely do i have the kind of patience required to put on all of those levels (it's only like 3, but really. come on. i skimp wherever possible) -- so i tend to skip the blush, which makes me look really wan and pale, which also makes people think i'm even more stressed than i am, which makes them not dump as much work on me as they usually would.

5) i wear black every day. all day. because it matches itself. all the time. i own 12 black dresses (it was 11 until yesterday at lunch) because it is the easiest thing to wear.

granted, my beauty routine may make me look like wednesday addams from time to time. but on the whole, it works for me!

so there you have it. i hope it helps you as much as it helps me.

when you stray from this routine even by putting on that layer of blush, you'd be amazed at the amount of compliments (likely because you look like a pale-ass witch every other day, but whatevs). except those backassward compliments that i get like "wow... you should [fill in the blank] all the time. you look great!"

if anyone else has any more time saving tips, i'd love to hear them!

current itunes song: "bury the cynics" by the lovely sparrows

8 comments:

Bryan said...

i really really wanted to comment here but other than something like 'keep the park clean & it'll get more visitors' i've got nothing. and since that kind of comment would probably go over like a fart in church, i won't use it.

Stephanie said...

I too am a bare minerals black wearing girl. If Wednesday Adams chic is wrong, do we really want to be right?

Must find me some of this dry shampoo...

SouthernBelle said...

Being curly-haired, I don't have to wash my hair every day, but when it needs a wash & I haven't time, I find hair chopsticks make the necessary hair-bun look less Nanna & more "sexy librarian who could take them out & shake her long lustrous locks out at any moment" (except she won't, because her locks are lank & greasy)

I have reasonably good skin so I never wear foundation, concealer or powder, but it's really because my mum doesn't either, so I never learned how to use it.

I have also been on the receiving end of the *offensively surprised tone* "Hey, you look really great today" ... after about the 5th one you start thinking "So, how bad must I look on every other day for this to happen?

SouthernBelle said...

Oh and PS thank you so much for adding me to your blog roll!!!

: D

sj said...

bryan: it helps that both kat and i are naturally gorgeous, so we require very little upkeep. seriously. we're both smokin' hot.

stephanie: you are so right on. if my hair were slighly longer, i'd braid it and everything.

sb: but of COURSE we had to add you! you are, after all, my twin. though my hair is naturally wavy. and most days, i don't comb it. i just put stuff in it and let it look insane. and i rock that librarian look like it's going out of style. but it's not. in fact, it's classic.

SouthernBelle said...

I know, right? The Sexy Librarian look is the shizz.

(Despite which, I will not be voting for the Grandpa/Sexy Librarian combo, I prefer the Cool Young Black Dude/Random Generic White Dude ticket).

Is your hair long? Mine is super long now (4 yrs of not really cutting it will do that), about halfway down my back when combed out straight. The Husband makes pouty faces when I talk about getting it cut short again. I don't know what it is, but men just love long hair...

Andy said...

It also helps to be a dude... Then you can get ready in 5 minutes

sj said...

if only, andy. my life - and my wardrobe - would be so much simpler.

but i really freakin' love my shoes.