I'd rather be laid on (or even laid up) than laid off

Life... sometimes it brings you good news, sometimes it brings you bad news and sometimes it likes to have a little fun by rolling all sorts of good and bad news into just one week. Which is what happened last week because, after we FINALLY reached an agreement to sell our house and move into the house I grew up in, I got the bad news. I got laid off.

Yeah, you know my wonderful, awesome, can't-beat-it job I started just four months ago? It would still be wonderful... if it was still mine. My company (the one that extracted a promise from me to stay at least a year!) is trying to save some money and is laying off some reporters in the process.

Actually, not just laying them off. Moving their jobs across the country and giving them the option to go with them. Which (see: aforementioned house purchase), I cannot do. This sucks, of course, and I will probably end up doing something I don't love as much, but that's OK. And, like a true Funny Gal, I managed to get a good story out of the experience.

My boss works on the other side of the country and we have never met in person. I haven't spoken to him too much since I went through a series of phone interviews to get hired. Anyway, he called one night last week to break the news (I already knew there was a possibility because of a conference call earlier that week-- oh yeah, those were some fun days in between the calls!) So he gives me the news and I say I can't move, giving a few reasons why, including the fact that the Pretend Husband is a member of the bar in this state and can't just transfer that to another state.

Boss: "Oh, so your husband has a good job?"
Me: "Um..."
Boss: "Well, your husband's a lawyer, so he must have a good job, right?"
Me: "Uh, well, he doesn't make as much money as all those lawyer jokes assume..."
Boss: "But he has a good job? Can you just tell me he has a good job so I can feel better about this?"

Wait a freakin' minute! You're calling me to tell me that I won't have a job with your company after next month and while I seem to be taking it OK, I'm actually holding back tears... and you want me to help you feel better?!? Dude, I'm getting canned. I could care less about making sure you leave the office tonight with a spring in your step!

So, yeah, I didn't tell him the PH has a good job. Because if there's one time it should be all about you and your feelings, it's when you're getting laid off (and NOT when you're the one doing the firing!)

Oh, and if anyone needs someone with experience in writing, graphic design, radio, homemade wedding invitations, journalism, dog grooming, baking, soccer refereeing and just being a funny gal-- call me!