Thursday, March 27, 2008

The only appropriate time to say “You’re going to be huge!” is to an aspiring Broadway star

Oh, man. It begins. This is the email I got from kat’s lil sis yesterday:

What’s wrong with people? Don’t they know not to tell a pregnant woman, who is already self-conscious about her size, that she is already big and is going to be huge? One of my employees kept saying, “you’re going to be huge” today and then told me I’ve gotten bigger from the back as well.

That’s it…I’m staying home until I have this baby. :(

Who does that?!? Employee, you may not realize it, but you’re dealing with a girl who gave herself tension headaches in the third grade. Lil sis has always been “the skinny one” and works hard to maintain her physique. And she’s been told she can’t work out because of her teeny, tiny cervix problem. So you can imagine how she’s feeling these days.

Although lil sis can be a tad bit on the sensitive side sometimes, I don’t think anyone would blame her for decking (or firing) this loudmouth. I emailed back and said she should tell that person they’re huge and then walk away while they’re trying to figure that out. Or I guess she could burst into tears (that would show them!)

Any suggestions for good comebacks?


Anonymous said...

So it wouldn't be a good idea to email my photos of when I was pregnant with Ned? The first thing my mom said when she got off the plane was "look how big you are"! Thanks mom! I had 4 weeks left and he came 2 weeks early and I was enormous. I didn't have a comeback because frankly, what can you say to something that is so obvious? All I can say is always use sarcasm, whatever the occasion.

Chris said...

It is a bit poor to paraphrase/steal Winston Churchill's best lines, but you could go for

"Yes, but when nature takes its course and I have the baby, I will be slim again and with a beautiful new son/daughter, whereas you will always be butt-ugly and alone."

This is a comment on an old post which no-one will ever read. Which is a shame, because it is quite a good line.