Aruba... an easy to read, bullet-pointed summary

I haven't yet posted about our honeymoon to Aruba because I wanted to write a big, in-depth post that does such an awesome trip justice (plus, I'll admit, I've been testing out some of the stories on friends and family members). Now that work isn't keeping me up until all hours of the night, here are some highlights...

- When we got to the hotel near the airport the night before our flight (and too far from home to go back), I realized that I packed for the balmy weather of Aruba and failed to include any shorts or cargo pants. I was set for a week of fancy dinners and swimming because I had more than enough skirts and bathing suits... but not nearly enough shorts. It led to us spending part of the first day of our honeymoon shopping and the Pretend Husband's declaration, "I married an idiot." Unfortunately, I gave him a few more occasions to use the catch phrase during the remainder of the week!

- While the U.S. is somewhat obsessed with the concepts of "rules" and "liability," the same cannot be said for Aruba. Going horseback riding, but never been on a horse before? No worries... the experience included the very detailed instructions of "Always get on and off the horse from the left," a quick lesson on how to hold the reins and the warning "Don't scream if the horse starts galloping." And then we were more or less left to fend for ourselves and trade tips about what worked as we galloped across the beach at breakneck speeds.
Our ATV tour was much the same way. The instructions? "Gas on the right, brake on the left." I didn't so much "take a tour" as "try to keep up with our guide as he gunned it." Also, we rode back to the ranch for about 10 miles on city streets. Seriously. We even went through two rotaries on ATVs as the cars and trucks whizzed by us.

-I am lucky to have returned from our trip with fingernails. I had some fake ones put on for the wedding and still had them on, of course, in Aruba. One of our activities was snorkeling off of a pirate ship. Very fun except for the part where they dropped us off in choppy waters, one woman hit her lip on the ladder trying to get back on the boat and the PH lost a mask and swallowed a gallon of sea water. But it really was fun other than that. Anyway, one part of the afternoon included the chance to use the boat's rope swing to jump of the edge of the boat, swing out over the ocean and drop into the water. A long line of people did it, including the aforementioned older (maybe 60 years old) woman who cut her lip. How hard could it be, right?
Um, the PH reports I got about a foot away from the boat before I dropped like a rock. I hit the water thinking I was going to have 10 bleeding fingers from the nails ripping off. They stayed on because these fake ones are 10 times stronger than the real ones, but I had sore fingers for the rest of the night. Apparently, soccer doesn't do much for my arm strength.

-The final memorable moment was when we got detained in the airport. We got flagged by customs officers for having gone horseback riding (hoof & mouth disease fears) and for having a sandwich that had ham in it in our bag (they didn't care about the turkey sandwich, though). We had to sanitize the shoes we wore horseback riding and throw away the ham sandwich before we were allowed to board the plane. I was just happy there was no cavity search or anything!

Anyway, we're back to the ol' grind at Chez KAT. It was a quick trip back to reality when we landed at home and the pilot announced the temperature as 30 degrees! Ugh!