Monday, March 05, 2007

Bits and pieces of my weekend

– I managed to embarrass myself thoroughly in front of the new, cute young (did I mention cute?) veterinarian on Friday afternoon. He commented on Molly’s Red Sox collar and I told him I had nothing to do with it. After chatting with the vet tech for a few minutes about baseball, he said, “Well, I guess someone’s father must like the Red Sox” and then peeked around the tech to give me a look. I was startled and said, “Uh no, fiancé.” It wasn’t until he had already left the room that I realized he meant the dog’s dad, not mine!
(If you think that’s a funny story, you should hear SJ’s story about her coworker’s blunder. It’s even better! How about it, SJ?)

– I discovered IKEA is bad for my health. We dragged SJ and her hubby down there Sunday morning to wander through the rooms (those sterile rooms that are just too organized for anyone to really live there). I thought I had healed from my sprained ankle of last weekend’s soccer game, and had even decided to play again that night. But IKEA showed me otherwise. Walking through the store (I think we were on mile 9 or 10), I felt a shooting pain in my ankle, bad enough to bring tears to my eyes. I had to sit down and then walk through the next 25 miles of merchandise leaning on the PH’s arm like an old woman.
Oh, and we went there with a huge list of things to buy for our house. Like Roman shades! And perhaps an entertainment center! And a rug for the dining room! And a light for the kitchen! And you know what we bought? A clock. Yup, one measly clock. SJ and the hubby, on the other hand, did well. They hadn’t planned on buying anything and yet managed to find $60 worth of stuff (you know how much $60 gets you at IKEA?!?) so at least the trip was worth it.

– I’ve discovered a new way to resolve fights with the PH that is just earth-shattering. I’m thinking of teaching seminars because it is just that good. I’m going to offer this new secret for the low, low price of $19.95 plus $39.95 shipping. But for you? It’s a free, trial offer. Ready for this?
Ladies, if you are fighting with your boyfriend, husband, pretend husband, fiancé or whomever, the surefire way to make him forget about it (therefore, letting you win the argument by default) is to… have sex with him. I’m telling you, it works! A little ear nibbling here, whispered dirty words there, and he suddenly forgets that you think the entertainment center he picked out is ugly. I’m thinking about trying this in the store the next time we argue over furniture.

Oh, and I’m hoping my future mother-in-law is not into reading blogs. If you are, Pretend Mother-in-Law, I’m just kidding… the vet wasn’t that young.


Molly said...

I wish there was an Ikea here, there was one where I used to live in England but the closest one is nearly in San Francisco and 4 hours is just a bit too far to drive for a look around!

Sex is definitely our secret weapon. Men are just so stupid!

sj said...

i love ikea. where else can you get a french press coffee maker for $6 and a caraffe to put it in for $4? and then little dessert plates for the little almond bars you'll serve with the coffee..

okay, so clearly i have a problem. but, for the record, i needed that magnetic dry erase board, and those little wine glasses for dessert wine were like 50 cents each. and so cute. and then the picture frames.... and the tea light holders. i practically filled the entire cart. plus, i have all of those stupid 5x5 photos and where the hell can you find 5x5 frames? nowhere, i tell you. there's no 5x5 frame store.