Monday, February 05, 2007

Warning: Wall Paper is Hazardous to Your Health

From the title of this post, do you have any guesses about how I spent my first weekend in my new house? Do you think it was spent ripping out rugs? Or painting? Nope, it was filled with plenty of scraping fun as we took down a couple rooms worth of some pretty ugly wallpaper.

Old, stuck-to-the-wall wallpaper that’s wasn’t very cooperative. So we ripped it off in whole sheets and then spent hours wetting the paper backing left on the wall and scraping it off.

And here’s why it’s so hazardous. I will never, ever allow anyone I know to put up wallpaper. I will personally sneak up behind them and tackle them to the ground and bang their head against something hard in an effort to prevent them from putting it up. You’ve been warned.

I cannot, in good faith, allow any new wallpaper to be hung. While it may be pretty and you might love it for the entire time you live in the house, you MUST think about the new owners. There’s a small chance they might love the wallpaper too, but probably not. And think about the hours they will waste undoing your work. And there’s so many other things they could be doing with their time, such as playing with their dog so she didn’t feel completely neglected and rebel by chewing on EVERYTHING or cooking actual food instead of surviving on cold pizza and champagne or even moving their stuff out of the crappy place they were living so they never again have to return home to find it at a mild 42 degrees because the f-ing heat doesn’t work properly and hasn't for the entire time they lived there.

And that's why you should use paint.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah..the memories you are bringing back from my first home. The 1960's wallpaper, the paint. Remember SJ?? Wow...
well welcome to the wonderful world of homeownership!

stac said...

wallpaper is evil. i have a dining room covered with what i like to call "Pizza Hut tablecloth" wallpaper (the most ridiculous red gingham wallpaper ever made.) i can't stand it, but have yet to get the courage to start taking it down!

Molly said...

Paint always wins. My first house had nice plaster walls and I painted it often and changed the color, it was fabulous.

Well hurrah for moving in your new house and boo for crappy wallpaper but at least you can make it your own now and do what you want with it.

Congratulations!

Chris said...

Cold pizza and champagne?!

Just the right mix of hardship and decadence!