WWJW: What Would Jesus Wear?

There’s just something about newspapers that inspires all of the wacky people of the world to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboards to share all of their conspiracy theories, religious conversions and stances on abortion. I once received a series of anonymous letters from a person concerned about the vast conspiracy that was the local police department. He made all sorts of wild claims that could not possibly be true. The best part about his “anonymous” tips is that he thought to put his address on the envelopes. I asked the police about him and found out the entire inside of the guy’s house was covered in aluminum foil to keep the government from listening to his thoughts. He even had a tin foil hat for when he ventured outside.

I received about 70 pieces of email at work today, but there was one that caught my eye just before I deleted it. The title was, “Doin’ the Stuff Jesus Did!” I didn’t actually read the press release, but it did get me thinking about my own life and how close it is to “Doin’ the Stuff Jesus Did!” And how can I do the “stuff” Jesus did?

I mean, I do wear sandals a lot, so I’m probably headed in the right direction. I think I eat enough fishes and loaves and I consume a lot of wine, so check, check and check. Jesus liked to hang out in marketplaces and I do visit the mall on occasion so I think I’m pretty good there.

Talked with the devil… hmmm, I’ve known some people who have been headed in that direction. Rebuilding destroyed cities? Well, I was something of a whiz back when “SimCity” was popular. He was definitely someone who thought about others before he worried about himself… and just last night I let the PH have the last of the ice cream.

This is about as far as my Catholic upbringing is going to take me in terms of knowing how Jesus (that’s “Jesus” for our Mexican readers) spent his time. Now excuse me while I go check my email… I’m dying to find out how I can “NaTuraLLy Nhance” the size of my “%PeeNiss@.”