Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Here comes the bride... and another one... and another one...

After receiving yet another wedding invitation in the mail yesterday, I got to counting just how many of these events I’ve taken part in. I got to 17… then remembered three more. So I’m at 20 (plus two weddings I couldn't attend) and may still have a few I haven’t thought of.
So far, we’ve been to two weddings this year (and declined the invitation to one other) and we have two more weddings to attend in October. Next year is going to be a crazy one. I know we will be invited to at least three and can think of two more couples who will probably have us on their list. Not to mention the fact that the PH and I have considered making it official before the end of next year (if we can find a date that’s not already taken).
Being somewhat of an expert on the subject, here are my first ever Wacky Wedding Awards…
Weirdest Wedding Situation: After dating a guy for a month, he asked me to be his date to his sister’s wedding. Meeting a guy’s family for the first time in a receiving line is not a great idea. Even worse, we were seated at the head table (I sat next to the bride!) and were asked to join in on the first dance. I think the pressure was too much because we broke up a week or so later– but at least he and his family have tons of wedding photos to remember me by!
Worst Wedding Attire: This one has to go to a dress worn to a bridal shower, actually. The way-too-old-to-be-wearing-that woman had on a short, tight, shiny dress, that was so inappropriate on her, it couldn’t even zip all the way up. So she walked around with the dress half unzipped (half zipped?) all afternoon. Even better is an outfit I never saw, but SJ remembers her mom covering her eyes as a kid when a bridesmaid’s spaghetti strap broke and her boob popped out at the altar. Where is “America’s Funniest Home Videos” when you need them?
Event Most Reflective of the Couple’s Personality: Admittedly not a wacky category, this one has to go to SJ and her husband J. Their wedding was a do-it-yourself (or actually, “do-it-herself”) affair, as SJ either planned or made every detail of the event. She spent months stringing beads on wire to make herself a hefty, but beautiful bouquet. She bribed us to help create the silk flower topiaries that were the centerpieces at the reception. She even whipped up six bridesmaid dresses on her sewing machine in her free time. OK, I’m kidding about that last one, but she did write a novel in the form of the wedding program that gave a brief history of each member of the wedding party and explained why they meant so much to her and J.
Best First Dance: This one is a three-way tie. My cousin and her handlebar-mustached hubby definitely win at least a third of the award for their very untraditional first dance. Although the Neil Diamond song started slow, it quickly picked up tempo and they broke into a choreographed routine. A friend of mine also gets a piece of the award for her dance, which included two uniformed waitresses walking onto the dance floor with the couple, then dumping pitchers of water onto dry ice to create a cloud for them to dance on. Unfortunately, it scared the crap out of the flower girls, but it looked cool to the rest of us. The final fraction of the award goes to another friend, who took dance lessons with her husband-to-be and had their first dance choreographed. I haven’t seen the guy pull off such fancy footwork before or since (although I haven’t been dancing with them so it would just be weird if I did).
My fingers are tired of the typing so I will leave a second installment of the awards for another time. I can’t be the only one with these experiences (although it seems as though I have had a large number of them). Any nominees?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Best Bouquet Toss Fight- I was at a wedding where the Future Sister-in-law of the Bride duked it out with the Grooms sister over the bouquet... by the time they were done- I think each had A handful of petals and maybe a flower or two....