She's Having a Baby.

Question: Can you still have the "oh god please no i'm not ready" moment when you're nearly 30, have a house,and are married to a wonderful man?

Answer: Heck yeah you can.

Tomorrow is the baby shower of one of my closest friends Gabriela. In a year's tme, her life has lept from fun, single gal living the good life to happily married gal working out a new life to Mommy-to-be. And I absolutely admire her for her amazing attitude throughout.

I love Gaby for her zanyness and whackiness and off the wall perspective, and some of my friends wonder why and how we ever became friends. I imagine it has something to do with artistic temperaments, outlandish fashion sense, and a deeper bond that tie us together. We've both gone through things that people shouldn't have to go through, and came out very different people. I think maybe that's why we're friends.

Besides, who else was going to think my black and white striped tights were oh so perfect to wear out to a bar on a Friday night? And who else but Gabriela could pull off our "we're foreign journalists Ella and Jane out for a night out on the town" act that we used at Hartford bars on boring Saturday nights?

And now, eight years later, our lives have changed dramatically and yet we're still good friends. It was a little over a year ago when I worried that our friendship would die under the weight of serioius relationships. Not so, in fact, now we call each other to vent about our husbands, having to clean the toilet and now- about the weight and wait of impending motherhood. It makes me wonder if that's how mom and Ginny were 40 years ago.

There was a time, some months ago, when I thought I might be pregnant. I was scared to death and didn't know what to do or who to talk to. How crazy a sentence is that to write when you're 28, happily married with a good job and a home? I should have been thrilled, except that I had been married for less than a year and feared a baby would break us financially. In six months, the prospect would have been better. In a year, we probably would have hit babies r us immediately.

When I spoke with Gaby on my way home from work one day -- she told me: I'm pregnant. I was elated for her, and part of it may have been a "if she can do it, i can do it" response. But another part of it was more of a genuine happiness. I was excited when my sisters were pregnant, and I adore my nephews to bits. They make me feel like my family is growing and getting stronger. But Gaby having a baby opens a new world to me. My children will have friends and we will have birthday parties together was certainly one thought, but another was -- there's hope for me yet.

I'm sure she's nervous and scared. But she's so calm and matter of fact about her pregnancy -- as complicated as its been - that if we do happen to be in the one percent of couples who conceive while on the pill -- I'm not so worried.

But just in case, I'm going to run to CVS now to pick up some home pregnancy tests, refill my prescription.... and maybe pick up some condoms. I mean, I'm excited and all, but let's not go crazy.