Being beautiful is such a burden. (At least, that’s what my hot friends tell me). Let’s see, do I want to spend six hours having every hair plucked or waxed from my body then three hours having make-up put on and my hair dried out with styling products before squeezing into the latest haute couture or do I want to throw on the latest TJ Maxx buy, slap on some purple eye shadow, pull my hair into a ponytail and go? I think my Calvin Klane jeans answer that question!
Scientologists practice silent births so as not to traumatize the baby. To quote SJ, “Seriously?!?” As someone who tears up when squeezing particularly painful zits, I don’t think there’s a chance in hell I’m going to be able to shoot an object bigger than a bowling ball out of my nether regions without sharing a couple of thoughts about the experience with those around me.
Tom Cruise is kind of weird. I know none of you Maverick fans want to admit it, but c’mon! Personally, I think the tightie whities in “Risky Business” should have been the tip-off, but he seems to have been able to fool everyone for a long time. I’m sorry, but being one of the hottest men in the world does not excuse making a fool of yourself on Oprah’s couch or the fact that your two front teeth are closer to one of your ears than your nose. Buddy, you’re rich— invest in some braces already!
So many books...
2 years ago