The Pretend Husband and FunnyKid left town on Friday for the weekend and my wedding rings were off within the hour as I hit the town. Ok, not as bad as it sounds-- I went for a manicure and pedicure to take my mind off how much I missed them which, of course, meant taking my rings off.
While I was kind of lost for the first hour (which included about 10 minutes of sitting in my car trying to stop crying), the rest of the weekend went by fast. And it was fun to be single and carefree again. While there was some cleaning that had to be done and I still had to work, I found some time for sleeping late and getting a massage. But even the cleaning was kind of fun because I was able to do it when I wanted, for as long as I wanted without someone grabbing onto my legs or demanding I put the "choo choo" show on the television.
It was the first time I've ever been away from FunnyKid overnight, but I figure it's good practice for when I'm in the hospital to have his brother or sister. And he had a blast with his cousins and his dad. The PH sent me tons of photos and videos so it felt like I got to be a part of the fun without any of the responsibility.
I told the PH how much I enjoyed the hour to sit and be pampered in the nail salon and he encouraged me to take a break every once in awhile and go for a pedicure or whatever. In talking to the other moms in our playgroup, I realized I am not alone in not asking for time for myself. It's a tough situation because I don't get to see the PH as often as I'd like as it is and when he is home with us, I want us to be together as a family. But I also learned the value of taking a breather from being a mom and having some time to do something for me.
I made sure I enjoyed the heck out of the weekend, not knowing when I'll get one to myself again (while the PH is a superstar dad, I don't see him taking a toddler and an infant away by himself-- and I'm not sure I would either!) But I'm going to make sure I take advantage of the PH's offer in the meantime and get some time out of the house that doesn't involve grocery shopping, playgrounds or the word "no" on repeat. Now that I've tasted it, there's no going back.
So many books...
10 years ago
2 comments:
This is something I was very sure about from the very beginning of our parenting adventure -- as something of an introvert, I have always been someone who needs a fair bit of time to myself to recharge. And while I do get out of the house daily to work, of course, I'm with people all the time and it's just not the same. So largely, when I'm off on Fridays, I still bring Ian to "school" and have a day to myself. Sometimes I clean and do projects around the house, but sometimes I do totally just nap or read or get a pedicure or whatever. And I try to get out at least a couple of evenings a month for something not work related. J travels a fair bit so he gets away without us; I've had a couple of girls' weekends since Ian's birth; I've taken Ian away on my own (only to my mom's, so it's not like I was taking him away by myself, but still) so Jim could have time at home, etc. I think this stuff is so important -- don't discount it!
I hear what you're saying! I sometimes feel like I don't have time to do anything for me. I, however, can't get my hubs to understand that I need him to watch the kidlet so that I can "do nothing." He thinks that I should be cleaning, or putting clothes away or something. It'll be nice when the baby comes if you take one and PH takes the other on an outing or what not. Then they get 1 on 1 parent time!
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