Monday, June 14, 2010

Not your usual love letter to baby...

Dear Herbie (aka the kid in my belly),
I had your father speak to you about this yesterday, but I think it bears repeating. That's not a pillow. Or a trampoline. It's my bladder. And you jumping on it or using it as a place to rest your head has consequences for me. Like having to try really hard not to pee when I laugh. Or having to run to the bathroom every 20 minutes. Or waking up every three hours during the night.

I love you, Herbie, and I want you to have a good time in there. Punch my belly as many times as you want. Make it pop out in weird places. And definitely kick the palm of your dad's hand when he rests it near you (we both love that). But, please, let's make the bladder off-limits, shall we?

Actually, forget that I asked. You WILL stop kicking me in the bladder. There, I said it. Why will you do that? Because I'm your mother and I said so.

Love, Mom

5 comments:

Soda and Candy said...

Yes! You gotta show em whoi's boss as soon as possible.

PS - You're not really naming it Herbie, right? Right?!

FunnyGal KAT said...

Soda and Candy: Nope, Herbie is the nickname while in utero precisely because we thought it was a funny name for a baby and because we knew we would never seriously consider using it.

Sally said...

You know that "because I said so" doesn't really work don't you? Because right now I am trying to reason with my child to come to Ross with me so I can shop and he is refusing to do so. I even tried to bribe him with money and he's not having any of it!

Kellie said...

I tried this as well. Weeks ago. It didn't work. Nugget still bounces on my bladder all day long. In fact, I've got to go to the bathroom like NOW.

Sam_I_am said...

watch it be a girl and she'll never forgive you for calling her Herbie.