Wednesday, June 11, 2008

How bad a daughter-in-law am I? Start the voting.

OK, the question of the day... if you were throwing your sister a baby shower, would you invite your own mother-in-law? So, she’s no relation to your sister and is related to you by marriage. What do you say?

Don’t worry, there’s no bet riding on this or anything. It stems from the Pretend Mother-in-Law asking if she’s going to be invited to Lil Sis’ shower. I had been on the fence about it, but said yes when she asked. The Pretend Husband (who usually doesn’t give a crap about this stuff because... well, because he’s a guy) seemed horrified that I had considered not inviting her.

Of course, this is the dude who couldn’t wait to register for our wedding and is already pressuring me to have a baby shower (and no, I’m not even close to being pregnant!). Oh, and when he thinks the oil might be low in the car, he asks me to check it. He also stood by and watched me change out a couple of light fixtures in the house. So, yeah, I’m beginning to suspect he’s the woman in our relationship.

In any case, the PMIL is invited either way, but I still want to know what you think. Vote away.

6 comments:

sj said...

yes. i would absolutely invite her. i didn't invite my MIL (nor did i plan either shower) for my sisters' showers, and she still seems a little miffed about it years later. i think she doesn't have much of a social life, and really enjoys that kind of thing. so to keep the peace, i would. and because you see them so often, i would.

but if your sister wanted something very close and personal with only people she knew, i could see where that wouldn't be a given.

(i may have a skewed family take on this... let's not forget that the in-laws of my in-laws expect me to be at their family gatherings -- theirs, meaning, the inlaw-inlaws who are in *no* way related to me. i still get offended when they expect me to spend father's day/easter/christmas AND christmas eve/mother's day with them instead of my very own family who are indeed related to me.)

KAT's little sis said...

Does the guest of honor get a vote? :) Of course the PMIL is invited. Now, if PH wanted his aunts, cousins and best girl friends to come too, I think I'd have to draw the line. So you can tell the PH not to get his panties in a bunch because I'd love for his mom to come.

Anonymous said...

I am posting this for one of your 'lurkers' at the Company mentioned in Sj's post on vacation.. hehe

I would invite the PMIL. Especially if she's Italian. In an Italian family, a cousins, cousins, cousins, cousin is family. LOL. And, if she isn't invited, it'll come back in a discussion 20 years later!

My Mother In Law still talks about the fact that she didn't even have a seat at the wedding reception for one of her son's (who has been married for 26 years now). Needless to say, she doesn't get along with that daughter in law and when she has a bad thing to say, brings this up.

Mama's Losin' It said...

Why would you invite YOUR mother in law to your sisters shower?? Are they close? I guess my sister could invite her in law...she's really sweet, but why would she want to go? I guess if she's bored...I don't know, it's all kind of weird to me. But it sounds like sister is game so why not...

Molly said...

I think it is courtesy but not required. I don't understand why she would want to go to the baby shower of your sister, but hey, if lil' sis gets an extra present out of it, it works out. I am with Kathy though, it is kind of weird that she wants to go.

DarlingDes said...

So, I think I'm the odd poster out...
I say no, she doesn't get invited. She isn't related and personally, if I were having a baby shower I wouldn't want my sisters MIL to attend.
But I do agree with Molly on the whole extra present thing.