party recap

Rules to remember when attending your holiday office party:

The office party may be the one time to shy away from the inviting allure of open bar.

Generally follow the dress call of the location. if it’s at a country club, don’t wear the clubbing shirt that exposes your back tattoo.

If you are mistaken as someone’s wife once, change parties. if you are mistaken as someone’s wife twice, laugh it off and move again. if you are mistaken as someone’s wife a third time, you clearly need to get out of your office or cubicle more.

If the ceo’s wife offers you a drink, take it, no matter how sick you are.

No matter how good of a singer you think of yourself, do not take the mic if you’ve had more than one drink.

If you don’t remember someone’s name, mingle on to someone else before you’re forced into an introduction that you can’t make.

Promise your spouse a new xbox 360 if he’ll come with you next time.

All in all, it was quite interesting. it probably took me significantly less time to recover than it did most of the people who went, thanks to one VERY good glass of pinot noir that I kept with me the whole night through. I must have heard “aren’t you married?” at least a half dozen times from people who hadn’t already mistaken me for someone else’s wife. and unfortunately, I got stuck sitting next to the most obnoxious board member in the world. but what can you do. You suffer through it and politely excuse yourself and then go visit the table of younger co-workers – but only very briefly because once their words start slurring you may get sucked in to discuss why you decided to get married and assure them of their intrinsic value to the company.